Ted Haggard on ‘Celebrity Wife Swap’ Changed My Mind About Marriage

ted haggard celebrity wife swapWho watched Celebrity Wife Swap last night? I did! I did! In fact, as soon as I heard about this train wreck of a show, I programmed the DVR and sat back to enjoy the crazy. I was not disappointed with the unlikely pairing of Gary Busey and evangelist and gay prostitute hiring, crystal meth snorting pastor, Ted Haggard. Maybe it's just that Gary Busey can make anyone seem normal, but I could not believe how totally won over I was by Ted Haggard and his perfectly lovely wife Gayle.

Even though some people found themselves snoring through the whole thing, I was strangely mesmerized by the Haggard family. Sure, it's possible I was in a sleepy zone as well, and therefore more susceptible to a message I would normally find batsh** crazy. But I found myself absolutely adoring that scandal-weary family, and even Ted himself.

In fact, Ted and Gayle Haggard might have convinced me to change my mind about marriage.

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I never read Gayle's book, Why I Stayed: The Choices I Made in My Darkest Hour, but even with this heavily edited half-hour show, I can see that this lady has a core belief. That core belief is all about forgiveness in her marriage and keeping her family together. Ted also comes off as someone who -- while making some choices that are totally against his true nature -- has an incredible amount of love for his wife and his family. Maybe not the sexy time love, but a love nonetheless.

While I'm not advocating for forgiving your gay or bi-sexual husband for keeping a huge secret and doing drugs and hiring prostitutes behind your back, I can see how this particular family decided to put that incident in the past. Gayle and Ted's marriage may be more like an incredibly tight friendship a lady might have with her gay best friend, but it works. They love each other, and they live together with their children, and that seems to be exactly where they all want to be.

As a liberal, pro gay-marriage, anti-discriminatory lady, of course I have concern about denying your sexuality in the name of religion. But this personal choice is not mine to make. In fact, my own policy of "Never forgive, never forget" suddenly seems a little narrow-minded compared to the Haggard's "live and let live" attitude. I'm not saying I could forgive my own husband for such a massive transgression, yet this idea of keeping a marriage together in spite of a MAJOR issue does make some kind of strange sense. If you love someone, you love them unconditionally. If you can salvage the respect and love you once had, isn't it worth giving it another shot?

Of course that's the key. If you feel like someone hurt you so deepl, and has zero respect for you as a wife, husband, or human being, you must move on to save yourself. The Haggards seem to have made the right choice for their marriage. Drugs and hookers aside.

Would you forgive your spouse for cheating and lying?

 

Image via Ted Haggard.com

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