Being 'Wife Material' Means Toning Down the Sexiness

Single ladiesPoor Pippa Middleton. In that segment of media dedicated to celebrity tongue wagging, she’s joined the likes of Cameron Diaz and Renee Zellweger as “the unmarry-able type.” Up until I read that breaking news, I didn’t think such a thing even existed, particularly among women.

There are the forever bachelor kind of guys who flick a middle finger at the clean-up they’d have to do to make somebody a decent hubby, but labeling a woman unmarry-able? Intriguing. So I took it to my field research, which meant asking Le Boyfriend what, in man world, makes a chick unworthy of a drop to the knee and a decorated ring finger. “If she’s slept with his friends,” he snarked.

I’ve got to broaden my focus group, I see.   

The conversation about what makes a gal “wife material” varies greatly depending on who you’re talking to and, let’s be honest, whether they have indoor or outdoor plumbing. 


According to some gossip mongers, being too sexy will keep a woman eternally single. Seriously? Doesn't that come naturally? So how, pray tell, can you tone down a quality that oozes inherently as part of your person? That's like suggesting I should be a little less short or telling Paula Abdul to be a little less crazy.

Some single gals, growing desperate for clear-cut answers as to why they’re waking up every morning still single gals, will psychoanalyze their qualities and mill over their traits to figure out what they’re doing to ward off the elusive proposal. Trying to figure that out can drive a woman to elaborate lengths to make herself more desirable when, in actuality, there’s no one-size-fits-all list of characteristics that make one gal more likely to head down the aisle than another.

Some guys will get hitched to a chick with more notches in her bed post than a team of Chippendales (I know, I’ve seen that happen). Others will only consider making a wife of a “good girl” with less mileage (I know, I’ve seen that happen, too). And then there are a bunch of details in between that determine, in their mind, how much of a hassle or a joy she’s going to be to have around for the next 30 years to life.

All of this talk about being pre-qualified for marriage got me to wondering what my man considered wife material (not including his brilliant aforementioned statement). His list, interestingly enough, looks a whole lot like mine. In no particular order: 


1. Smart
2. Sexy
3. Wise with money
4. A good mother
5. Faithful and honest
6. Ambitious
7. Spiritual
8. A fighter/survivor
9. Sense of humor
10. Sexually compatible


1. Active faith in God
2. Intelligent
3. Fun-loving and funny         
4. Strong in mind and spirit
5. Loving and patient with kids
6. Family-oriented
7. Affectionate
8. Faithful and committed
9. A willing leader
10. Ambitious

“I guess I should throw beautiful in there too,” he shrugged. “That should go without saying, though.” For that, I gave him my nicest, longest blank stare. Aside from that teensy oversight, I think we’re on the same page. For now, anyway.

Single ladies, what qualities make a man "husband material"?


Image via Giovana Medeiros/Flickr

Read More >