Debra Messing Ends Her Marriage the Right Way

debra messingDebra Messing, star of the new show Smash and the best show on the planet Will & Grace, has separated from her husband of over 10 years, Daniel Zelman. The two met while in grad school in the late '90s and have son Roman together, who's 7. It's rumored that the couple actually split in the beginning of the year but have remained living together in their New York City apartment despite their marital trouble, and personally, I think that was a responsible, mature, and thoughtful decision. Not only for their son, but for themselves.


Walking away from a 10-year relationship should be difficult; extremely difficult. If you're in a loving and mature relationship, It can and should take time to come to the conclusion that you are ready to move on from one another. It isn't a decision that's easily reached. Usually there's therapy, tears, hugs, make-ups, break-ups, couch-sleeping, and bed-sharing that go along with any couple deciding what their future looks like. And it takes time to experience all those emotions. If someone rushes out of the partnership, they're really cutting themselves short.

So Debra and Daniel's choice to stay living in the same apartment while they went through the process of determining whether they were working to break up or working to stay married is a sage one. Yes, it was probably awkward. It was probably more awkward than anything they've ever done in their entire lives. But you know what? Awkward is a part of life.

It would've been rash and disrespectful to their marriage had either of them left the apartment because they wanted to avoid feeling uncomfortable. Running away is never really the answer. Ending or, conversely, fixing a long-term and loving partnership is not going to happen overnight. It may take weeks, months, or years to come to a mutual conclusion.

I think it's admirable that Debra and Daniel didn't rush the process. It sounds like their split was amicable and peaceful, which I think is a testament to the strength of their character.

What's been your experience with either breaking up or fixing a relationship?


Photo via david shankbone/Flickr

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