Nothing Says ‘I Love You’ at Christmas Like a $900 Designer Handbag

Designer handbag
You'd smile too if you were worth as much as I am
Folks lose their minds around the holidays. Seriously. Lose. Their. Minds. Somehow, conveying their love to their children and parents and of course their spouses and significant others gets all tangled up in how much they can spend on presents for them.

Meanwhile, the next couple of weeks — sometimes the next couple of months — are dedicated to playing catch-up because they’ve let the light bill or the car note slide so they can have a little extra cushion for Christmas materialism. I know that from experience. I’ve been guilty of it myself before. Ho ho ho.

Course, here are some people who take it to the extreme. I am, in between typing this post, having a belabored conversation via text with a friend who is shopping for his recently-promoted-from-jumpoff girlfriend. Early this morning, he sent a picture of a Marc Jacobs bag for me to shower my opinion all over.

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The purse itself is aight, a plain black leather hobo with two vertical zippers in the front and silver hardware accents. I typically love MJ designs but as far as this one goes, it’s just OK. It doesn’t move me. But far be it from me to begrudge another woman the opportunity to find a high-end handbag under her Christmas tree, so I told him he done good and kept it moving. Just as I was about to close the pic and carry on, I saw the price.

“$900!?!!” I typed furiously on the keypad. “R u outta your mind?”

“No ur cheap,” he retorted a few minutes later. “My chick gotta have the best.”

I say folks lose their minds around the holidays but truth be told, I’m not so sure some had them in the first place.

I feel like this right here: if you don’t have a house or a piece of property to call your own, if you aren’t sitting on a nice cushion of savings and a tidy little nest egg for retirement, if you have just enough money to pay your bills every month and find yourself singing lead on the “Ain’t Got No Money Blues,” and certainly if you have someone calling you at any point of the day from an 800, 877, or 866 number, you have no business buying a $900 handbag for yourself or anybody else. Homeboy qualifies for at least three of those can’t-dos.

“OK, I’m cheap,” I snarked. “And ur foolish." As you can imagine, it’s been about 20 minutes since the last time the little message indicator dinged with a new incoming text. He can call me cheap, tight, or penny pinching. But he can’t call me disillusioned. 

If I unwrapped a gift from my boyfriend and discovered that he spent a figure with a comma in it — or something darn near close — and said gift was not either a) an engagement ring or b) a new car, he’d be hotfootin’ it right along with the rest of the crowd flooding the return lines on December 26. That, to me, is not a reflection of how he feels about me. I appreciate the littler, less pricey things.

I’m a tough girl, but I am terrified of bugs. So when this humongous critter held me hostage in my room, I managed to spray him to death with a can (yes, almost a whole can) of oven cleaner. (Don’t judge me. I didn’t have any Raid on hand.) But I was so grossed out by him, even in death, that I left his carcass in the corner of my bedroom next to the dresser and let nature take its course.

One day, I noticed he wasn’t there anymore. I asked The Man, who’d just been there for a visit, if he got it. “Yeah,” he said. “I know you were too scared to pick it up, so I threw it out.” Now that’s the kind of love I’m talking about. I can buy my own fancy bags, not that I ever would. But I appreciate gestures like that.

This is the first year I’ve set a real budget for my spending. An honest-to-goodness, once-it’s-gone, it’s-gone budget for everyone I want to buy for. It’s hard when you want to do amazing things for amazing people, especially your snookums. Don’t I know it. But I hope that I’ve shown him how I sincerely feel about him enough to not have to wait all the way until December 25 to say it with wrapped packages and heaven help me, $900 price tags.

Are you and your boo big spenders when it comes to gifts for holidays and birthdays?


Image via MShades/Flickr

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