Scarlett Johansson's Marriage Mistake Is a Lesson to Us All

scarlett johansson on cover of cosmopolitan january 2012While rumors swirl that Scarlett Johansson has it out for her ex-hubby Ryan Reynolds' new love, Blake Lively, the actress herself sounds really Zen about her divorce in a new interview with Cosmo. She said the marriage was "the best thing I ever did," and "it grew out of a romance and love and a desire to have a future with somebody."

But at the same time, she admitted that she wasn't quite ready for what marriage entails. We've all heard the same sob story out of the entertainment biz again and again. Starlet is shooting in Canada, while her Hollywood hunk is in L.A., and somehow, they just can't keep the flames burning with all that time apart. Well, that's what seemed to be the case here, but at least Scarlett is taking responsibility for her inability to, as Tim Gunn says, "make it work!"


She explained:

Relationships are complicated and being married is a living, breathing process. I think I was not fully aware of the peaks and valleys. I wasn't prepared to hunker down and do the work.

Wow! How totally refreshing, right? I'm not sure I've ever heard someone come clean and say they weren't "prepared to hunker down." All too often, break-ups and divorces come down to a lot of finger-pointing, and no one really shouldering the blame for the split. But Scarlett has. Good for her!

What she's talking about here is such a valuable lesson for all of us, really. It's so easy to feel like something's so "natural" and amazing that you get swept up in the fairy tale of a wedding and marriage (hello, Kim Kardashian!). But idealizing it in that way is dangerous, because you can forget what it actually means to be married -- which is taking on a life partner through good times and bad. And doing the really hard work it takes to get through those valleys -- or even the not so great or "eh" times.

The most successful marriages I know of are given constant nurturing and attention that keep it healthy and happy. Saying "I do" should mean being ready to offer that level of commitment. If we can take anything away from the mistake Scarlett made, it's that being prepared to hunker down and do the work really does pay off.

Do you agree that over-idealizing marriage is dangerous and healthy, happy marriages take hard work?


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