The Best Places to Hide Your Sex Toys

bedroomI'm a pretty big fan of sex toys, if I'm being honest (and I'm ALWAYS honest with you). I have more than I probably should, because there's no love like self-love, and well, I like variety. However, with a mess of sex toys (AND a mess of kids), I have trouble finding places to store them where the small ones won't come find them.

But I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Here are the best places I've found to hide sex toys. Just please don't tell my kids!


1. In a locked bedside table drawer. That way, the toy is always within reach whenever you're feeling the itch to get down and dirty. If your kids get curious about it (mine have), just let them know that even adults are allowed to have secrets. It teaches them a great lesson about privacy and reminds them that you are, in fact, a person too.

2. Shoe boxes. There's almost no reason that my kids are going to go rooting through my shoe boxes. I mean, in the occasional instance in which they need one to make a diorama, I can find them one, but otherwise? BO-RING! It's less convenient than the bedside table, which just means that you have to plan ahead. Not the end of the world.

3. In a coat pocket in your closet. Okay, so this one might be a stretch if you have a sex toy collection like I do, but again, there's very little reason that anyone has any call to go into my closet and wear one of my bazillion coats. It's sort of like hiding them in plain sight. Just make sure you take it out before wearing the coat. Or not.

4. A lock-box. I keep meaning to pick up one of those cheap lock-boxes from the store, but they make lock-boxes in all sizes. Which means I can hide my substantial stash all together in one place.

5. Tupperware. I'm not talking about one of those clear ones, but one of the big ones. Maybe you can throw the sex toys in the bottom of your out-of-season-clothes. That's another place no one would want to look (read: boring!) and should be fairly easy-access for you.

So, where do YOU hide your sex toys? Maybe I can learn something new!


Image via athomebedroom/Flickr

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