Craziest Ex Prize Goes to Woman Who Kept Condom to Get Pregnant

exWhen a man and a woman are battling it out over a bunch of stolen sperm and child support over the babies that said sperm created, you know you've got a big ol' hot mess on your hands. But the case between Joe Pressil and ex-girlfriend (and mommy of twins) Anetria certainly puts a whole new spin on the "what's mine when the relationship ends" debate. Ladies, let's get this one out of the way right now.

If he leaves a condom full of his man juice on the floor, it is not fair game to run it off to the fertility clinic. That right there is stretching the bounds of finders/keepers! Trying to figure out why she's now suing the guy for child support would require a ride on the crazy train that I'm just not ready for. So while we're on the subject, ladies, if you are not returning any of the following, you are the woman who makes a bad name for the rest of us:

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His grandmother's anything: I don't care if it was the ring he gave you when he promised to love you until the sun don't shine. If it is a family heirloom, it belongs in the family ... which you're not longer part of.

His childhood stuffed animals: Anything he bought you at the fair is yours. Anything that he used to wipe his snot on when he had a fever and his mom was feeding him chicken soup is his ... and will one day belong to his own snotty 4-year-old.

His nude photography: If you're in it, feel free to burn. If it's him solo, just be a class act and hand it over. You'd expect him to do the same, right?

His belly button lint collection: Just because you thought it was super cute when you were together doesn't mean it wasn't creepy then ... and now. 

His stuff: I'm talking about the very clear "yes, this was his $50 Waterpik that's been taking up space on my bathroom counter" or the "OK, this is his $400 iPhone 4S" rather than his $1.50 disposable toothbrush. You will NOT get your own similar "stuff" back if you can't be the bigger person. In that vein: as tempting as it may be to give it a little swirlie beforehand, I suggest you refrain.

His porn collection: Yes, that's healthy and fine in a great relationship. But really, now? Just no.

Keep any of these, and you're a crazy ex. But if you have kept one of these and want to feel a bit better, here's a gem for you: you are NOT as crazy as a woman who keeps the dirty condom and uses it to get preggers. Uh uh. No way.

What have you kept? Come on! Spill it!!


Image via daniel_littlewood/Flickr

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