Stop Lookin’ So Good, Ladies! You’re Making Shaq Cheat

Shaquille O'NealJust as we single gals were grumbling that there aren’t enough mannerly men left on the market, super Shaq emerges to give us a nugget of hope. Yes, he cheated on his ex-wife-turned-reality-star Shaunie O’Neal. He admits that. But he did it respectfully and tastefully.

Oh. Well in that case, Shaq, high-five to you for pulling loads of extra nookie on the side and still being a gentleman. So many of your fellow man hoes are unable to strike the balance. Just one question: just how does one “respectfully and tastefully” crap on their vows, knowingly break their spouse’s heart, and intentionally throw their family in the path of an inevitable train wreck?

Methinks the answer may rest in the pages of his forthcoming memoir, Shaq Uncut: My Story, which hits bookstores tomorrow. The future NBA Hall of Famer admits his antics were the reason his marriage failed but he did it because “I was a guy.” 

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A ha! Shaq Diesel says all men cheat, so it must be true. Look, he says it right here: “At one time my ex-wife Shaunie and I were happy, but I admit it — I was a guy. I was a guy with too many options. Choosing to be with some of those women, well, that's on me. In my mind, I never did it disrespectfully, but obviously I shouldn't have done it all.”

Ah, sweet hindsight. It’s so 20/20. But why didn’t that thought cross his mind while he was knocking boots in his first extramarital affair? Or his second? Or his thirteenth? Because even he admits to sleeping with multiple women during his marriage who, needless to say, were not Shaunie O’Neal.

(Just as a sidebar, one of them was rumored to be Laura Govan, Gilbert Arenas’ then-fiancee and one-time friend of Shaunie. Tsk tsk tsk.)

I know athletes get all kinds of booty (and boobs and other parts of the female anatomy) thrust in their direction simply off the strength that they’re famous, they’re in positions of power, they’re talented, they’ve got that manly testosterone and adrenaline pumping through them all the time. So just say the temptation of getting with groupies, even several decades into your career, never wore off and that you had no business trying to commit yourself to one woman when you still had wild oats to sow all over the livelong land.

Do not, however, say that it’s “because you’re a guy.” That’s a cop-out.

I don’t subscribe to the whole suspicion that all men cheat. There are some dudes out there staying faithful (including, hopefully, mine). But I do agree that guys in general have a whole lot of options. My friends and I have discussed it as a reason why so many women are still single. Guys don’t settle down because honestly, they don’t have to. There are too, too many pretty girls out here with all the fixin’s — good jobs, nice bodies, pleasant personalities — so picking one to stay with almost seems ridiculous. It would be like sitting down at an all-you-can-eat buffet but having to commit to one dish when the steak looks good and so does the seafood and oooh, there’s hot Italian over there...

And because some women are just pressed to have a warm body in their beds, whether it has a ring on its left hand or not, it doesn’t put too many limitations on a single guy’s reluctance to settle down or a married man’s ability to cheat.

Still, Shaq says that he’s now more mature and is learning to be a better partner. All of this self-reflection may bode well for his next bride-to-be — you know, “Hoopz” from Flavor of Love. Ain’t that always the way? One woman deals with all the crap, all the messes, all the drama. They break up, he gets his act together, and a new chick reaps all the benefits. I’m over here booing from side court. Oh well, so long as he’s going to be good to somebody…

Do you think men have too many options?

 

Image via The U.S. Army/Flickr

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