The Best Kind of Foreplay Is Not Sexual at All

If you think you have to be married to someone who shares all your political beliefs, think again. Some of the hottest marriages I know don't agree on anything. And while I probably couldn't do it, I can totally see how it could be hot.

I grew up in a very political household. My father was a leader in the local Democratic party, so I went to campaign parties, speeches, debates, and rallies from birth. I can remember the red, white, and blue streamers that fell from the sky and the confetti I would try to catch on my tongue. One message was always the clearest: This side is the righteous one.

Throughout my childhood, I had more politics than religion and was very much taught that one side was right and one side was wrong. Now, my view is a bit more nuanced and I think I actually could actually have married a Republican depending on why he was one. If he were a fiscal conservative, then maybe, but a social one? No way.


It's a question my friends and I have posed to one another many times, and the answer (for some of us) is always the same: It depends on the issue.

I couldn't justify dating (or marrying) a man who was against gay marriage or abortion. On the latter, I just think it's none of his business and says way too much about his character. I am not alone. I had some friends tell me flat out that they could never marry a Republican or a Democrat (depending on where they fell). Some can, of course. Look at James Carville and Mary Matalin. But they are the exception.

It also depends on a few things. If you are apolitical, maybe it wouldn't matter. But I'm not and most of my friends aren't and I do have a very strong sense of one side being right and one side being wrong. I am sure I could have hot hate sex with a conservative, but I sure couldn't take him home to meet my dad and have respect.

Luckily, the guy I married is kind of like me. He is mostly liberal, but he takes it issue by issue. We agree on all the fundamental issues and the ones on which we don't -- immigration, Israel (sort of), and welfare reform -- we argue and turn it into foreplay. After all, the best part of marrying someone with different political beliefs is that.

Passion + anger = seriously hot sex. It's an equation that can't really be beaten. If you can refrain from killing each other, a marriage between a leftie and rightie can be hot, indeed.

Would you ever marry someone who was the opposite of you politically?


Image via DonkeyHotey/Flickr

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