Funny Bystander Live-Tweets a Couple’s Public Break-Up

burger king break upPersonally, I like to have my most intense relationship talks at around 3 a.m. at the taco stand four blocks from my apartment, but a couple outside of Boston prefers to discuss the status of their relationship at a local Burger King. To each their own, I suppose. No matter what the location, we can all get carried away when we're in a lover's spat (ew, I can't believe I just said "lover's spat." Ew! I just did it again!) and we can forget that we're not in the privacy of our own living rooms, but instead in a public space occupied by many, many other people. People who could potentially live-Tweet our entire break-up to a digital room full of 3,600 people. It happened to this poor couple, and the results are ... sensational.

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Andy Boyle is the man behind the tweets -- he was sitting only a few tables over from the arguing couple and decided to share their sad news with the world. There's sobbing, there's yelling, there are accusations of too much video game playing and not enough dish washing. There's talk of having a baby, there's talk of a slap, and infidelity, there's mention of a mother-in-law ... the list goes on. It's all in there. No subject was left uncovered as they went at it over plastic trays full of deadly junk food.

And quite frankly, it's a fascinating saga. Andy tweets such dramatic phrases as: "'Baby,' he says. 'I only say these things because I want you to be a better wife.' The restaurant does not believe him." Andy lays it on thick, and I love it. "'If you loved me,' he says, 'you would want me to be happy.' We notice his argument is not swaying her." Another classic.

You can read the whole story on @AndyMBoyle's feed, but you should be prepared to be sucked in. The couple's disintegration and Andy's storytelling is better than any episode of 90210, trust. And it kind of makes sense that it's interesting to read ... it's like reality TV at its purest. Nothing's staged, nothing's fake, it's genuine emotion that evokes an empathetic response. Maybe Reality Tweets will be the thing of the future.

To make sure you're not a star of that series, keep the bigger marriage discussions behind closed doors.

Do you argue with your significant other in public?

 

Photo via josh wept/Flickr

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