Personality Is Sexier Than a Set of Six-Pack Abs (OK, Almost)

PersonalityAm I the only person who pulls up behind a car with vanity plates that say something like “2SEXY4U” or “URNVUS” and gets tempted to ease on up just to get a peek at what the driver looks like? I mean, it takes a certain amount of confidence to pat yourself on the back like that for the traveling world to see. I just like to get a glimpse of the source of all the self-congratulating kudos, especially since arrogance is like one of the top ten most icky traits.

I wonder if hot people with ugly personalities even know they’re not doing so great in the disposition department. I guess it doesn’t even matter because when you’re gorg, you get an instant pass — and lots of freebies and comped checks and shorter wait times in line at the club and so on and so on. Other people tend to be too bedazzled by their physical wow factor to get put off by their lackluster attitude. 


Teen Girl, who is new to observations about the opposite sex but still brimming with all kinds of commentary, poignantly tells me, “Mommy, nobody sees your personality when you’re walking down the street.” And that’s very true. The first thing that usually attracts — with the exception of maybe a conversation with an especially charismatic stranger on the phone or a string of witty comments during a Facebook flirt session — is the physical stuff. The hair. The eyes. The smile. The skin. The muscles. Oh my, the muscles.

But, but, after the initial survey of their fineness is complete, it should be followed up with something substantive to progress into more than a passing admiration of that fineness. And that’s where some folks have a problem because their personality (or lack thereof) negates all the good and delectable things they’ve got going on on their exterior. They can be dry and impersonable or haughty and self-absorbed or maybe just a meanie poo whose jerkiness is compounded by immaturity. However you slice it, whatever their hangup, they’re not nice to hang around — unless you’re just content to look at them and not attempt to talk.

I remember telling a dude I’d just met that he had pretty eyes. And he did. He had a kind of cinnamon mocha complexion and his eyes were this amazing greenish hazel color. The two features worked together to be quite visually appealing. But man, was I sorry I told him so. His reply to my compliment: “I know.”

Talk about a control z moment. I wanted to snatch that statement out the air and tuck that bad boy right back into my mouth. And the evening only went further south from there as he demonstrated without a shadow of a doubt that some people are meant to be looked at and admired from afar and not actually interacted with or talked to up close and personal.

Me on the other hand? My personality is my selling point and I thank the Lord for it. I doubt I’d have gotten as far as I have without it. I’m not delusional to think I’m the Halle Berry of anybody’s crowd, but my bubbly and fun-loving Janelleishness can run circles around a runway model any day (not saying that some of them aren’t sweet and all).

Heck, a nice demeanor can help make just about anybody sexy. I don’t care what anyone says: there comes a point in your life when you get over that whole want-a-heartthrob-as-a-boyfriend thing and find yourself attracted to qualities that you can’t pinpoint on a Chippendales poster. I love big, dark-skinned, chocolaty guys with a little meat on their bones — and my track record certainly proves that — but I’d holler at a waif-thin shorty if he made me laugh frequently, could hold thoughtful conversations and then hold his own in debates, and had a generous and gentlemanly spirit.

Even though I joke around, I’m a sucker for personality way more than I am for muscles and man model good looks. I can’t for the life of me understand why everyone was falling out over 50 Cent because at some point, homeboy (and buff dudes like him) has to put a shirt on. And then all that’s left in the room is you and the personality that never was. I’ll pass (not that 50’s blowing up my texts or anything). No personality — or even worse, a bad personality — can make eye candy a whole lot less yummy.

Would you date a homely guy if he had a lot of personality? Could you date a hot guy with zero personality to his name?

Image via istolethetv/Flickr

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