Kardashian Marriage Calculator Proves Reality TV Is Missing Out on Real Love

Kim KardashianThe jokes about the longevity (or lack thereof) of the Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries union have been running wild. But nothing has quite captured the insanity of spending $17.9 million on a wedding for a marriage that lasted just 72 days like the Kardashian Calculator. Or as it should be known, the Kardashian Kalculator.

A coder from Iowa named Bryan Forbes is somebody with a little bit too much time on his hands and a lot of mathematical know-how. And he has figured out how to measure your marriage in Kardashian time. Which we, naturally, put to the test ... for some intriguing results.


By entering your wedding date and hitting "calculate," Forbes' little gadget divides the time that's passed since you said "I do" by 72 days. Or as he calls it, by a Kardashian, a unit of measure representing 72 days of marriage.

At first I thought the Kalculator was just a bit of fun, but after determining that I've logged 56.28 Kardashians with my husband (that's a little over 11 years for those of you who don't do multiplication in your brain), I then plugged in my parents' wedding date and, for the hell of it, my grandparents'. The first is just over 187, but the second? At the time of my grandmother's death, they'd been married 310.74 Kardashians!

And we're giving Kim, Khloe, and the gang their own reality shows? E! is being forced to show repeats of " Kim's Fairytale Wedding" when they'd have fresh stuff if they dropped these bozos and went with a couple who knows what staying power is! Imagine the stuff they could get if they started following around old people who have been married for 310+ Kardashians. It would be ratings gold, and American couples might actually learn something!

If we measured our marriages against one like that, we might actually feel like we'd accomplished something if the calculator spit back a big number ... don't you think?


Image via Kalumba2009/Flickr

Read More >