A Lindsay Lohan Sex Toy Isn't That Absurd of an Idea

lindsay lohanI don't even know where to begin with Lindsay Lohan -- it's so hard to keep up! She's doing community service at a morgue, she might be going to jail, her dad's been arrested, twice, she's doing Playboy, and her mom's writing a tell-all. Is that it so far? Oh! Wait! I forgot! She's also been offered a million-dollar deal by FleshLight adult entertainment company! They want to make a mold of her vagina! To sell it! Holy snappin' turtles, Lohan! This sounds too good to be true!

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A Lindsay Lohan va-jay-jay mold has been on my wish list for years. And I know I'm not alone. I'm looking at you. Yeah, you. Admit it. Come on. What would go better in that empty space on the shelf in the living room than Lindsay's lamp of love? Guests will marvel at your daring purchase, not able to take their eyes off it as you serve them a glass of Chardonnay with your finest assortment of hors d'ourves. It's super classy. Trust.

OK OK, if I'm the only one that would use Lindsay's lady parts to decorate my home, so be it. But seriously -- do people (and let's just assume they're mostly men) want to have "sex" with a rubber replica of Lindsay's labia, etc.? Is that like, a thing? Celeb vagina molds? Are people that curious about what it would "feel like" to do the deed with Linds?

Guess so. If they're offering her a million buckaroos, I suppose they think they'd be able to sell it. However! However. Lindsay, for now, apparently, allegedly, isn't biting. According to TMZ, sources close to her said she'd never do such a thing no matter how big the offer was.

Sigh. Guess the only places we'll get to see LiLo's privates are on the Internet and in her upcoming Playboy spread. We'll have to take what we can get, I suppose. My empty shelf shall remain empty a little longer.

What do you think of FleshLight's offer?

 

Photo via Splash News

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