Casual Sex is OK & More Modern Rules for Dating

married coupleIt's about time we've got some new dating guidelines because the old ones weren't really working for me anymore. Dr. Bethany Marshall, author of "Deal Breakers: When to Work on a Relationship and When to Walk Away" has come up with a new set of rules for the dating masses out there who are just trying to find love, or sex, or both. Her philosophy is sort of an out-with-the-old, in-with-the-new approach that I totally approve of, though my mom and grandmother might not. They're a bit controversial.

For instance, according to these new modern love rules, a one night stand isn't such a bad idea.


Studies have shown that non-committal sex can lead to a long-term fulfilling relationship. Casual sex is no longer a no-no as long as you're safe about it. While I would argue that there is still a double standard for women in this category -- I think that women who have casual sex are still seen as sluts even though men who do the same thing are not -- I do agree that the overall stigma attached to casual sex is mostly gone. And if psychologists think it can lead to healthy relationships down the road ... this new rule has some legs, and likely some fans.

Another rule that is so out is the old belief that you shouldn't go to bed angry. Marshall explains that sometimes sleeping on whatever is bothering you is the best way to handle things. In the morning, tensions have died down and cooler heads usually prevail. I think she nailed it here -- after a fight a little time apart on opposite sides of the bed is sometimes all you need.

My favorite new love rule is that sex can be scheduled -- that it doesn't have to be spontaneous and hot all the time. For those of us who've seen ten too many rom coms, this is a refreshing take on what our sex lives should be like. Romantic comedies and chick lit make sex seem like it's always hot and effortless and fun and flirty and oh so great, but as experts point out, that's hardly the case for a working couple with busy schedules. We can wait all night for our handsome knights in shining armor to show up with a bouquet of roses and a wry smile, but shit don't go down like that in the real world. It's actually nice to hear that sex doesn't have to be spontaneous to be fulfilling. It's the anti-rom com rule we've needed to hear for a while.

What do you think of some of these new love rules?


Photo via Marcus Hanssen/Flickr

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