You’re Ready to Be His Wife But Is He Ready to Be Your Husband?

Marriage proposalI know you’ve got the perfect gown designed in your head — an off-white mermaid design with a crumb snatcher top and beading on the bodice, thank you very much. Pink and silver sound like gorgeous colors for your décor, and you’re trying to decide whether to serve pepper steak and salad or crab cakes and rice pilaf at your reception.

But honey, planning all the details of your wedding well in advance doesn’t mean your man is ready to get married. Heck, he might not even be marriage material.

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Love itself is not reason enough to be convinced that your boo is prepared for the day-to-day obligations of being part of a vow-tied couple. It’s one thing to cuddle up together on date nights and then retire to your separate apartments, even to your separate sides of the bed if you’re already living together. But it’s quite another to field the responsibilities of being a husband — scratch that: a good husband. Is your man an ideal candidate?

Relationship expert Christine Pembleton has literally made it her business to help great women get ready for great marriages with great guys. A recent blog post on her website, Ready to Be a Wife, ran down a checklist of tell-tale signs a man is prime hubby material. And hers are very good points that touch on most of the major factors, but I have a few indicators of my own to add to the kitty.

He’ll make a good husband if:

I’ve seen him make responsible decisions with his money. If it comes down to the new Madden game that’s coming out next week or the light bill he’s got to pay next Tuesday, I need to know he won’t be tempted to finagle some hair-brained scheme to use the money for the former over the latter.

I’m impressed with his fathering skills. Even if he doesn’t have any kids, I do. And I need to be confident that he’s not treating Tween Girl like an accessory to our relationship instead of appreciating her own individual fabulousity like she’s his own child. He’ll show that he wants to be a father to her in addition to being a partner to me.

He’s assimilated into my family. I can’t even begin to imagine starting a life with a man that my mom, aunts, uncles, and cousins didn’t like. So he should be tee heeing and ha haing with them just like he was already an indoctrinated member of the Harris clan. If he’s made the effort to get Mommy and the gang to give him the green light, he’s ready for that stroll down the aisle.

I can’t wait to tell him stories and exciting news. My bestie’s name is Keisha, but I expect my life partner to be my ultimate best friend. If we can be totally honest with each other — yes, those are dad jeans — once we get past that cutesy honeymoon phase where you’re simmering in each other’s wonderfulness, he’s cut from prime husband cloth.

What are your signs that a guy is good husband material?  



Image via the Italian voice/Flickr

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