Women Really Do Have a Fear of Oral Sex

couple kissingI used to think I didn't deserve oral sex because of all the time it took to get me off. I felt it was just too much trouble for the guy. But why was I feeling this way? When oral sex is done right -- in my experience, it's about one-third of the time -- I enjoy it immensely. Of course I deserved it!

I enjoy the intimacy of oral sex. Think about it, your guy is all up close in your bits, seeing, smelling, and tasting you. You don't get that with intercourse. But many women don't like it, or tell their man to stop after about 20 seconds of being down below. Why?


Perhaps it is that intimacy -- too close, too much letting go on your part. Some of us who don't like getting oral pleasure don't mind giving it. Why won't we let ourselves enjoy it?

It might be about control.

I do enjoy being in control of his pleasure, just like I enjoy giving him control of my pleasure. Yet many women don't. We worry too much -- what is he thinking, am I talking too long, do I smell okay. All those questions in your head are just a big turn-off, making you not even enjoy the oral sex you are getting. We don't understand how to give up control.

I keep coming across blogs with the same theme: cunnilingus, no thank you, let's move on. I can understand the resistance; body image issues, a fear of smell or taste (ladies, you all smell and taste fine when you're healthy, really), time constraints, lack of knowledge around our own bodies, but being the sole focus of pleasure can be amazing. It can even be the one way for some women to reach orgasm. We shouldn't deny ourselves that.

I'm finally comfortable in my body and secure in my sexuality and we all need to get to that place, too.

Cunnilingus, can you take it or leave it?


Image via foxtongue/Flickr

Read More >