Aphrodisiac Perfume Has Most Shocking Scent

etat libre d'orange secretions magnifiqueGone are the days of classics like Chanel No. 5 and Shalimar by Guerlain dominating the "sexy perfume" market. Now we have other more, err, eccentric options, like ... "Sécrétions Magnifiques," a scent from French parfumier Etat Libre d'Orange ($91 for about 1.6 oz.). You don't have to speak French to know that judging from just the first word of the scent's name, it's not your average fragrance. Apparently, "like blood, sweat, sperm, saliva, Sécrétions Magnifiques is as real as an olfactory coitus that sends one into raptures ... the slightly salty marine effect stirs, arouses, and sets your mouth watering." Gah! WTF? (By the way, I thought Lady Gaga was putting out this perfume?)

It seems like Etat Libre wants to capitalize on how scents can make us long for certain things. That's legit. And that same theory probably explains why studies have shown women are turned on by the scent of gasoline, while men like the scent of roasted meat.


But, assuming eau de bodily secretions works the same way? No, no, no no, no. Just. No. Gross.

I'm reminded of a scene in Friends With Benefits when Mila Kunis's character's mom walks into her apartment and kind of buoyantly points out that her daughter's bedroom smells of sex, like in the '70s. I get it. That's definitely a distinct scent that could probably get you hot and bothered, depending on what memories it brings to mind for you. But to WEAR IT? To walk around smelling like that? That's just wrong. People would probably think you had some kind of body odor or, uh, incontinence issue, and at least, to me, that's the opposite of sexy.

By the way, Etat Libre's avant garde range of scents doesn't stop at secretions. Oh no. They also have Entrecuisse, which translates to "Crotch." Wow. I dunno. I'm trying to be open-minded, but I think only someone who is totally pervy in a creepy way would be into such a thing.

Maybe I'm a prude, but these scents aren't my personal idea of aphrodisiacs. I'd prefer to stick to tried and true -- vanillas or clean floral scents -- and leave the eau de "unwashed underwear" or "semen" scent.  

Do you find these scents sexy in the least?


Image via etatlibredorange.com

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