New Mattress Designed Specifically for Snuggling Is Hilarious (PHOTOS)

love mattressTrying to find a comfortable snuggle position in bed with your lovah is one of life's greatest challenges. It is not physically possible to get a good snuggle to last more than four minutes -- it's after three when your limbs starting going numb. Ross Geller invented the hug-and-roll move to eliminate the snuggle struggle on Friends, but designer Mehdi Mojtabvi has upped the ante. Introducing the Love Mattress. With movable slats and modules, all your snuggle needs will be accommodated in this state-of-the-art sleeping arrangement. Yay?


See, the "comfort gaps" are like little Venus fly traps: they open to gobble up your rogue elbow or crooked ankle if it's there; otherwise, the flaps stay shut. The gaps essentially make it possible for your whole arm to swoop around and under your partner so you can hug from sundown to sun-up.

While I'm a fan of a solid snuggle sesh, the last thing I want is to be embraced all night. Sometimes a girl needs her space, you know? I'd give this mattress a try in the store but definitely wouldn't purchase it. Which is probably a good thing, since I don't see anywhere that it's in fact for sale.

love mattress

I'm also a little worried that this mattress looks like those mats we had at gymnastics class in elementary school. Needless to say, the smell of sweaty little feet and the fart noises the mats inevitably made do not make me want to cuddle with anyone.

Another problem the Love Mattress doesn't address is sheets. I like to sleep on sheets, don't you? I wonder if the LM can be used with them. If not, I'm pretty sure then that this so-called Love Mattress is the grossest mattress I've seen since that time I found one on the street outside my apartment building covered in vomit and urine. The material looks sticky and noisy. You may be able to snuggle, but no way in hell you'll be able to sleep.

love mattress

"A" for effort, though. I appreciate this step that acknowledges and ultimately tries to solve our snuggle conundrum.

What do you think of the Love Mattress?

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