Women Popping the Question Is Bad for Relationships

woman proposing to a manThe women's movement has made it easier for us to crush through many a glass ceiling, have children if and when we want, and enjoy casual hook-ups, but one effect doesn't exactly seem like something to celebrate: More women are popping the question. According to a poll from the online dating site Swoon, one in 10 gals have asked their guy to tie the knot, because they were fed up with waiting for him to do it himself. Gah!

I'm sure there are instances where it makes sense, and the woman feels totally confident in her decision to be the one to propose marriage. More power to those women! But in most cases, I would think asking him yourself is a major bummer. 

For one, it's probably the opposite of empowering.


Most of my close female friends who live with their significant others do enough for their guys as it is, i.e., at least 50 percent of the housework/chores, most of the grocery shopping and cooking, etc., all while working their own jobs. Having to propose yourself seems almost like saying, "Sure, honey, I'm willing to take on ALL the work -- including asking you to be my husband." Screw that! The least a guy can do is make up his own mind to get married, plan the proposal, and get on one knee!

Plus, don't we really want to know that he made up his mind to ask, "Will you be my wife?" Wouldn't you always wonder if/when/how he would have done it himself? I would.

I know I'm on to something here, because even Swoon backs me up. They found 75 percent of women who asked their men to marry them "wished their partner had beaten them to it." Uh, duh!

It's not anti-feminist to allow your guy to take the initiative sometimes. It's the same thing as letting him be the one to get you flowers or enjoying when he's the one initiating a good time in bed. Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger has preached it, and I agree -- there are certain times we need to let our guys wear the pants and lead the way. He'll feel more secure and, therefore, happier, and in turn, so will you. It's a relationship win-win.

That said, you can call me old-fashioned, but I can't help but think most women will be more satisfied -- and their relationships will be better off -- if they let marriage proposals remain a man's job.

Are you for or against women popping the question?

Image via prayitno/Flickr

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