The Forbidden Sex Act You Should Try at Least Once

couple kissing in bedI don't know when it started, but every time I look at a calendar, I'm reminded that there's a cause somewhere that needs my attention. October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. April is National STD Awareness Month. May is Masturbation May. This month? Raise your glass, minus the "g" and the "l", cause it's bottoms up.

My friend and fellow sex educator Ducky DooLittle calls it "the equal opportunity orifice." And by it, I'm talking about the bum, and the hole we all have, whether we're gay, straight, or saving it 'til marriage -- okay, that's a really bad excuse. August is anal sex month.

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And yes, August is almost over, but don't tighten up you butt cheeks just yet. If you're feeling adventurous, anal pleasure can drive you wild. Everyone should try it at least once. Here are a few tips on how to celebrate, pleasurably, before the month is out. 


Anal sex hurts because you're just not ready, and other times it hurts because you're just not into it. Either way, rule one: Assk first. 

After you've asked, or been asked, before you plunge on in, remember the butt has lots of really sensitive nerve endings, both in and around the entrance, so don't head to that hole straight away. We all need to get warmed up first.

Now, in order to get warmed up, you want, and need, lube. The butt is not like the vagina, it doesn't get wet on its own. Lube is essential and you want to find a sexual lubricant that won't dry out to quickly. Silicone lubes are a good bet for butt play.

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A happy bum is a relaxed bum, so have your partner start by teasing around your opening, using the pad of his thumb or any other finger. He should gently circle around the entrance to the area. Only after the butt relaxes can you go deeper with comfort and ease. Honestly, we all walk around with tight butt holes. It you think about your bum, and try to relax it, you can, but otherwise, if you do nothing, you'll notice your butt is tight. Try relaxing your bum, anytime of the day or night, even if that's all you do for anal sex August. Heck, awareness is the first step.

Another thing to know is NOTHING goes up the bum if it's not attached to a body part or if it doesn't have a flared base. A flared base means the object is smaller in the middle and larger at the bottom, so it can't accidentally slip up inside of you. Light bulbs and flashlights (yes, this really happens) are perfect examples of what not to use, while a butt plug is a perfect example of what to use. 

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And if you're not ready, but he is, anal stimulation does not make a man gay. In fact, massaging the prostate (which you gain VIP access to through the butt) is one of the best ways to keep the prostate healthy. So, if you're not ready to go there, and he is, go there ... on him.

What scares you most about anal sex? Have you had it?


Image via kanir/Flickr

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