'Rocky' Relationship Starts Sometimes Better Than Smooth Ones

This summer, model/actress Kelly Brook and her boyfriend, rugby star Thom Evans, experienced the unthinkable when they lost their baby girl when Brook was five months pregnant with her. But, according to Brook, the painful loss had one silver lining: It only strengthened their (relatively new) relationship. And it makes perfect sense.

When a relationship is tested to its max, you get to see what it's really made of. In my own experience, the early years of my marriage were fraught with strife. We had a life situation come up that was very unusual, rare, and also very painful. We fought. We screamed. We went into counseling.

And after about a year we emerged on the other side, a new couple. We were given a gift.

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Would I have traded what we went through for the usual blissful beginning? No. Much as I would've liked us to have one of those perfect, seamless stories, our "rocky" start brought out all each other's ugliness. I saw things in my husband it takes others years to see and vice versa.

We saw them, we dealt with them, and we supported each other. For some, once year seven rolls around, they're shocked to see the truth in their man. I saw it early. And I loved him anyway.

For Brook, this tragedy may have been a window into the truth about her man. It can also have the opposite effect. Sometimes you see the truth and you realize that person isn't for you. Either way, you get important knowledge that is vital to your relationship and you get it early.

It's true most couples get a long grace period during which they think their love is flawless, and that has its own beauty. But give me a rocky or tragic beginning any day over perfection. The flaws and the pain make the bright spots brighter and you learn what your spouse is made of long before you say, "I do." If there is one upside to tragedy and strife, it's that you never have to wonder what would happen if ... you already know.

Was your beginning rocky? Are you happy it was?

 

Image via Carnoodles/Flickr

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