Modern Day Romeo Takes Bullet In The Arm For Love

heartAll you lovers of love out there, raise your hand. Oh! I see we've got a number of you romantics in the crowd. Wonderful to have you. I'm a lover of love as well, so I'm excited to share with you this charming tale of teen adoration, romance, and quixotic enchantment.

It's a modern day Romeo and Juliet story you see, except instead of two star-crossed lovers dying in the end, two thick-witted dimwits shoot a boy in the arm.

But it was all in the name of love.

Fair Milwaukee, Wisconsin is where we lay our scene, from ancient break-up grudge emerges new mutiny, where teenage blood makes teenage hands unclean.

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Our lovestruck Romeo is 20-year-old Jordan Cardella. He was heartbroken when his girlfriend broke up with him and wanted to do anything he could to win her back. His light bulb moment came when he decided that if he were in the hospital, suffering, his ex would see him wounded and would decide she made a big mistake, and would take him back.

Because Jordan didn't have a priest handy with a sleeping potion on hand, he must have gone for the next best thing: He asked his friend to shoot him in the arm.

When one friend refused to do it because he was a convicted felon and couldn't be caught shooting people, another good friend stepped up to the plate. The three lovers of love went down to the local park where they shot Jordan in the arm with a rifle. After the first shot, our Romeo begged his friend to fire again, but his request was refused.

Our Juliet found out about our Romeo's injury, but wanted nothing to do with these imbeciles. Juliette sounds like she's got a good head on her shoulders. Glad she didn't decide to shoot herself in the arm, too. Two arm wounds do not a relationship make.

The three musketeers (rifle-teers?) were later arrested. The shooters were sentenced to 100 hours of community service and two years probation. Our Romeo was initally charged with lying to the police, but the charges were dropped.

The judge, it seems, was not a lover of love like you and I. While she accurately described the boys' act as "phenomenally stupid", I think she came down a little harsh. Our Romeo was in LOVE! Deep deep love like he had for Juliette calls for drastic measures -- he was only trying to win her back.

I think an appropriate punishment would've called for all three boys to read all of Shakespeare's plays within one year and report back to the court on their new theories on love, love lost, and love gained. Our Romeo has some learning to do, but I admire his indomitable, if not totally unhinged, love for love. For never was a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo (who, uh, asked someone to shoot him in the arm.) The end.

What crazy things have you done for love?

Photo via Neal/Flickr

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