50 Things That Are Almost Better Than Sex

woman shampoo

It's difficult to come up with 50 things that are truly better than intimate, hot, passionate sexy sex. I've been thinking about this for a while, and I decided that kissing, blow jobs, and intercourse were all, technically, sex. So, I came up with this list of 50 things that feel, taste, or are almost -- at least sometimes -- better than sex.


1. Cleaning your ears with Q-tips. 

2. Peeing on a full bladder.

3. Watching your kid score (a goal).

4. Skydiving, especially in the free fall.

5. This video of a sleepy kitten making biscuits. (And no, this is not the least bit sexual.)

6. A long foot massage.

7. A good spin class, but only after it's done.

8. The steam room.

9. The Chocolate Chip Philly Fluff Cake from The Bakery. Yes, it's called "The Bakery" and, as far as I'm concerned, it's the best bakery ever. 

10. When the stylist gives you a shampoo and deep condition. 

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11. Air conditioning in Florida in August. 

12. Driving on the back of a motorcycle on the Pacific Coast Highway. 

13. The Princess Bride.

14. A New York bagel. 

15. Fulfilling a dream.

16. A good hand job, the kind where someone massages your actual hands.

17. Taking your shoes and socks off after a long day on your feet.

18. Crawling into bed with fresh sheets.

19. The scrub-down at a Korean spa. 

20. A hug -- the caring, not creepy, kind.

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21. A card that comes for no other occasion than "just because."

22. A good burp, fart, or cry (not necessarily in that order). 

23. Hot breath on the neck.

24. Comfort food.

25. The smell of baking cinnamon buns. 

26. Finishing The New York Times Crossword Puzzle on a Friday. 

27. A big terrycloth robe for right after you get out of the shower. 

28. Slipping into fuzzy slippers.

29. Sleeping in. 

30. A thrift store score. 

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31. Gaming.

32. Kissing.

33. A Zombie Drill.

34. The birth of your child. 

35. A slice of pizza from Ray's on 11th Street and 6th Avenue.

36. Finding out you're going to be a parent. 

37. Sunrise, sunset. 

38. Swimming in the nude.

39. Black Rock City

40. Losing weight, especially a noticeable amount of it. 

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41. Finishing a marathon.

42. A full body massage.

43. Wet dog licks after a bad day.

44. Reconnecting with old friends.

45. Winning the lottery.

46. Hula hooping.

47. Love.

48. Acting like, or actually being, a superhero.

49. Dancing your ass off.

50. Being heard.

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