Why Every Woman Should Hide a Lil’ Money From Her Man

Money stashOne day, when I grow up, I aspire to have a rainy day fund. The concept of a savings account is fascinating to me. Having money squirreled away, just sitting there, not being pushed or pulled in any direction, chillin’ and waiting for a purpose. Wow. Must be nice.

My money’s all tied up in life right now, but I’m really hoping that by sometime next year, I can grow my $50 emergency stash into something that would really benefit me when trouble brews.

That being said, I don’t see anything wrong with a woman having a little just-in-case cash stored up. Just in case he gets sick. Just in case she gets sick. Just in case he gets locked up. And yes, just in case he leaves her hanging with the bills to run away with the happy hour waitress who serves his favorite cocktails (and apparently a few other things, too).

All money should be shared property, true, but it’s just a little security blanket. Is that so wrong?

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I don’t have a lot of personal precedence for this one because I come from a long line of women who know how to make a dollar holler, but never had enough to put away in honor of hypothetical circumstances. It’s not that they didn’t want to. It’s that it was hard to put dollars aside and just leave them there when they had kids to feed and barely enough money to do it with in the first place.

Aside from my grandparents, I don’t have a lot of relationship role models who I can glean my lessons about what’s fair in love and finance. I do recall my Nana keeping a few dollars safety pinned to the inside of her bra, though, and if trouble hit and one of her kids needed something, she would turn her shoulder, unsnap that little wad, and make herself an instant heroine.

This much I know: I’ve seen enough marriages and long-term couples go south to be quite sure that having a little something something tucked away in a box of Kotex or a bra and panty drawer or an online bank can’t hurt anyone.

Some might argue it’s a breach of trust. I think it depends on how much money we’re talking about. If a lady has the equivalent of somebody’s salary stored away, that might be something her husband should get a little miffed about. I can’t imagine why a woman would stash away that much cash unless she was in fact planning her grand escape, which would therefore entitle her man to feel betrayed.

But a few thousand on down to a few hundred? Eh, that’s nothing to get all hyped up about. If I found out my man had some dough saved that I didn’t know about, I wouldn’t shed any hairs over it unless we really needed the money and he didn’t offer it up. If I’m over here eating Ramen noodles and Little Hugs for dinner because poverty has swooped down on our household and he’s got five grand socked away at Bank of America, now that’s cause for an argument.

Even though I don’t see anything wrong with it, I also don’t see myself having a stash myself when I get married. For one, I have a hard time keeping things from The Boyfriend as it is, so I’ll end up shooting my own self in the foot because for two, he’s the type who would be pissed over the moon if he knew I was keeping anything — $50 or $5,000 — from him.

I’m sure that gesture would be racked with all kinds of symbolism in his book. I can hear him now, creating hypothetical situations and comparisons to make his point, bless his little heart. No thanks. I’ll keep it real with my finances just the same, if only to spare myself from unnecessary drama.

Do you keep a secret stash of money? (Shhh, we won’t tell!)  

 

Image via DanCentury/Flickr

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