Sometimes Sex Is Better Alone

woman in bedI've always been a number one fan of sex toys, having reached my first orgasm after mail-ordering my first vibrator. This was back in the day before the Internet had sex shops, and female-friendly boutiques only existed in San Francisco. So, when actress Jennifer Love Hewitt was seen walking into LA's beloved Pleasure Chest last week, presumably to purchase sex toys for her newly single self, all I could think was "you go, girl!"

It's easy to say sure, she's single, so she's replacing her ex with a sex toy, but we all know sex toys don't replace boyfriends. They can't take you out dancing, kiss you, or tell you how wonderful you look tonight. But sex toys are a good time, and they are great when used alone and with a partner. It is fascinating to know that most women reach orgasm way faster when they're alone. But does that mean sex is better when it's with yourself?


It depends. I like using sex toys alone because they make it faster and easier for me to have an orgasm. It's like having a quickie with myself. During the average sex session with a partner, women can take 15-20 minutes just to warm up and guys, well, they can be finished in under five. But when we find the right vibration, if we like vibration, women can get off in less time than it takes to make a cup of tea. And alone, a vibrator, and non-vibrating sex toys too, helped me figure out just what spots, and where, I like to be touched. Of course, this varies with time of the month and other factors, but overall, using sex toys taught me a lot about my body, and not all of it could I have discovered without using them. 

In my last long-term relationship, we used sex toys together, because they helped me orgasm during intercourse. There are lots of women who enjoy sex toys on their own, but when they are asked if they would confront their partner about their pleasure, they're afraid he'll feel rejected or replaced, or that he's not living up to his end of the orgasm. I say, talk about them and try them. Trust me, while you don't need them, you can spice up your sex life by wanting to use them. And you might have more orgasms!

So yes, sometimes sex is better when you're alone. And sometimes sex -- alone or with your partner -- is just better with a sex toy.

When do you use sex toys? Are sex toys better when used alone or with a partner? 


Image via zawezome/Flickr

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