9 Naughty Father's Day Gift Ideas He REALLY Wants

Every Father's Day, we get the PG list of Father's Day gift ideas -- barbecue tools, the latest gadgets, a new tie. But the list of things most dads REALLY want is actually a lot more rated R. Of course, he would never ask you for those things. You have to dig a little deeper for this stuff.

Bonus points: These gifts are for you, too!

The fact is, dad can get material gifts any old day. Like you for Mother's Day, what dad really wants to know is that he is appreciated, loved and yes, even lusted after. So give him what he really wants and sex-up the place for a Father's Day he won't soon forget.

Here are some ideas for what dad REALLY wants:

  • Oral sex: Oh I know it is so cliched and you are not a hooker. Blah, blah. The fact is, if you have a man who works hard, is the father of young children and has any kind of social life, his window on blow jobs is a lot smaller than it used to be. So use nap time (or wake him up early) to your best advantage on June 19th and give him a "kiss" he won't forget.
  • Lingerie: No most dads don't want to wear sexy skivvies (though if he does, that's cool, too), but give yourself a little extra shopping time between tonight and tomorrow and give him a lingerie show he'll remember.
  • Dealer's choice: Tell him it is his night to pick everything about your sex act. He chooses location, what you wear, how long it lasts and how it gets started. He has not had this much control since long before the two of you got together! He'll love it.
  • Porn: You know what he likes, so give it to him and enjoy it with him. Whether it is something you do regularly or something that will surprise him, he will appreciate it.
  • A massage: Dad works hard all week and if he's a good dad, he probably has some sore shoulders from lifting the kiddies all day long. Give him a break either with a massage certificate you buy or one you give him yourself (bonus points for the latter!). His muscles will thank you.
  • Naughty dice: Give him these dice for after the kids are in bed and roll away. One has a body part and the other has an action -- "lick"; "massage," etc. With only one day left, you can hustle and get to the sex shop or make your own with some stickers, creativity and a handy colored pen. Have fun!
  • Striptease: Turn on your favorite song and remove your clothing slowly and sensually. Then give him a few free minutes in the champagne room and a lap dance he won't forget.
  • Sexy Photos: Take sexy photos of yourself throughout the day with your cell phone and send them to him like bread crumbs while you are out with the family doing fun things. By the time he gets home, he will be doing anything to get the prize at the end of the trail.
  • Sex IOUs: This is a great, easy gift he will love. Give him 10 "coupons" redeemable any time. If you are not in the mood one night and he has a coupon to spare...  Well, you know the rest. It's the gift that keeps on giving!

What are you doing for your man for Father's Day?

Image via Public Domain Photos/Flickr

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