Men who orgasm too quickly and the women they frustrate -- sounds like the catchy title of a new self-help book. Hmm. Anyhow, it happens more than you think, leaving legions of women post-coitally aroused and reaching for their toys.
But if I had to choose between a lover who takes too long or one who shoots his load too quickly, I’d choose the latter. Because there's nothing worse than lying there while your partner is still going at it and you're satiated with your one, two, or even three orgasms, waiting to get on with your life and either go to sleep or go downstairs and fold some laundry.
So if your lover doesn't last long enough and you need a little more time, here are a few things you can do to help him slow the process down:
Extend foreplay: Make pre-penile penetration time more meaningful. A little massage, some cunnilingus, and hopefully an orgasm so that you're satisfied. Then neither one of you needs to worry about how long he lasts and the pressure is off of him.
Use a toy: Cock rings can help your partner maintain his erection for longer. The rings work by preventing the flow of blood out of the penis and theoretically keep him from orgasming too quickly. They come in a lot of varieties, including ones that really add to your pleasure, too.
Desensitize: There are a handful of creams and lubricants on the market that claim to increase your man’s staying power by decreasing the amount of sensation your man feels. And who doesn't love playing with some lube? Get dirty, sticky, don't be shy to use lube to massage everywhere. There are also condoms that are manufactured with the same goal.
Change positions: Certain intercourse positions are better than others if your partner has the quickness issue, particularly ones where the woman controls the thrusting. Check with your man. You can try switching out the missionary and doggy positions for one where you are on top. Try having your man sit at the edge of the bed, feet on the floor, with you straddling his lap. It's face to face and intimate but with you in control. Also, switching positions alone can help make sex last longer because of the start and stop process. Sex will never be boring!
Have you and your partner tried any of these ideas?
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