Condom companies try, they really do. They try to make it interesting, they try to make it less like you’re just strapping a baggie on. There are flavors (well, sort of -- have you ever tried those? Ew!). They fancy it up with ribbing, bumps, and even ticklers. Colors, glow in the dark -- every trick in the book. But condoms are still so boring. So ... functional. Snooze.
So thank god for the new trend in condomology: There are couture condoms -- yes, couture! -- silly ones, celebrity condoms, and even decorative rubbers.
Check out the following couture condoms that will bring a little excitement to your sex life.
First up is a line endorsed by Lady Gaga: Proper Attire condoms (above). She's worked with designer Jeremy Scott in the past and is an outspoken advocate for safe sex. These condoms don't do anything fancy, but they sure are pretty.
You get an extra bonus when you buy the Kung Fu Sutra condoms. Instead of just a rubber, you also get an instructional (sort of) illustration of Chinese Kung Fu characters in various positions. Warning: some of these look like they might actually Kung Fu you to death, Bruce Lee style.
Oh, Julian Assange, you are now famous in ways that you never even dreamed of. Okay, so these Dickileaks condoms are pretty raunchy, but you have to laugh at the play on WikiLeaks, at least in a 6th grade snicker kind of way.
These are my favorites! Rumor has it that Chanel also has a line of condoms. The best thing about these Marc Jacobs condoms, though, is the price tag -- they are just $1.50 each. That's barely more than the cost of a condom at Planned Parenthood. Marc is obviously actually interested in keeping people safe.
KISS Condoms for the eternal rocker in your life? I have to be honest, these kind of squick me out. Gene Simmons' tongue is bad enough in real life -- how can we be expected to deal with it on our condoms!
Oh, that's right! You can now commemorate the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton with none other than a condom! I can't think of anything hotter than pulling out an official portrait of these two right as you're about to get it on, can you?
Which couture condoms are your favorite?