Sarah Palin Sex Fantasies: Grounds for Divorce?

Tracy MorganSo Sarah Palin is one of the visuals that pops into Tracy Morgan's head when he's choking his chicken?


Last night on TNT's Inside the NBA, Morgan said that Palin was "good masturbation material." So it’s her face he sees when he’s stroking his trouser snake, rubbing one out, and spanking the monkey?

If my husband made that known, on national television or even in the privacy of my own home, I would be mortified. And it has nothing to do with my left leaning political views.

I mean, seriously, if you’re going to jerk off to the image of another woman, please at least let it be someone hot -- like ESPN reporter Erin Andrews or one of the Kardashian sisters, preferably Kim. I’d even be happy with Steven Tyler. At least I think he’s sexy. Sarah Palin, on the other hand, isn't really doing it for me.

But she's not the only one. Here are a few other women whose images I would prefer stay off my husband’s masturbation list:


Flo, the Progressive Insurance lady: The ultimate perky party, her demeanor is starting to get on my nerves -- though I can see how her wielding a price gun could be a turn-on for some.

Snooki from MTV’s Jersey Shore: It's not the accent that bothers me but the poofiness of the hair, the Oompa Loompa skin, and the wanton drunkenness. But she does have a book on The New York Times bestseller list.

Kim Richards from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: She may or may not be an alcoholic, but she definitely does not treat her body like a temple. Drink less and eat a little more.

Heidi Montag: After multiple plastic surgeries, she's more Barbie Doll than woman.

Kat Von D: Engaged to Jesse James post Sandra Bullock. Enough said.

Kristen Stewart: I read the Twilight series and thought the relationship between Edward and Bella was hot. That sexuality didn't transfer over to Kristen Stewart. Like a cold fish.

Martha Stewart: Do I need to state a reason? The pictures of her lip, stitches and all, say enough. Plus my husband is already a good cook.

Gwyneth Paltrow: In her GOOP newsletter post that highlighted tips for working moms, nowhere does she mention sex, or any intimate time, with her husband, Coldplay's Chris Martin. And that's just wrong.

Dr. Laura: Quite frankly, her opinions make me sick. So the thought of her being in my husband's head also makes me sick.

Sofia Vergara: Just kidding. I think the Modern Family star is sexy. She might even make it into one of my fantasies.

Which women would make you shudder if they were on your husband's masturbation go-to list?

Image via Mild Mannered Photographer/Flickr

Read More >