Rielle Hunter Is a Married Woman's Worst Nightmare

rielle hunterJohn Edwards is rumored to have proposed to Rielle Hunter. Let's just let that sentence soak in for a moment. Let it ooze through your veins, make your heart race, feel the blood rush to your head, your face get redder and redder, your breath labored. Now let's get angry on behalf of women everywhere. Rielle is a married woman's worst nightmare.

She strikes us where it hurts the absolute most. Our hearts. And if this all turns out to be true, it's like she has spit upon the lovely Elizabeth Edwards' grave. Rielle cannot be human. Perhaps she is the cause of the mass animals deaths. Another sign of the apocalypse. She is pure evil with a GQ spread and a 3.5-carat diamond engagement ring.  


Let's remember that Elizabeth Edwards passed away exactly one month ago on December 7th. One month!! Any woman who has a husband who cheated has wondered, If I was dead, would my husband be with that other woman?

In this case, the answer would be yes.

Affairs happen. Oh it's absolutely terrible, but they do. Even to the best of us; even to the couple married for 45 years and decorated with menopause pills, Ed Hardy shirts, and 2-seater hot rods. We're human beings who make awful, awful mistakes at the expense of others. There are men and women who just can't keep their privates in check.

But Rielle. Oh Rielle is the disease that just won't go away. Like herpes. Like cockroaches and bed bugs and those parasites that multiply in your intestines from eating monkeys in Thailand. And my goodness I know she is a human being, but I'm sorry ... everything she has done lacks humanity. She strikes fear in our hearts -- the cold mistress who went too far without any regard for Elizabeth or her children. She doesn't even seem to put the best interest of her own child, her love child with John, first. Just like she played Edwards, she plays on our every emotion. For all she has done, she is unforgivable. And so is John.

The cheating. Forgivable? Yes. It can be. If this happened to you and you forgave your husband, the horrific vision of your man lying naked with another woman will haunt you for the rest of your life, but if it were me, forgiveness can be accomplished once I used bleach on my eyes and some sort of liquid plumber stuff on his penis.

Cheating results in a love child. Forgivable offense? In my world ... no. But women do forgive. If it were me, I'd pretend the kid doesn't exist and hope the mistress's parents are good people who raise the child so the whore can rot in the gutter alone. (But that's just me.) I think Elizabeth Edwards showed much more grace than I ever could in her same situation. (And ... um ... if the situation was turned, I don't think a woman would EVER get away with being pregnant with another man's kid and still be accepted into her husband's bed. Am I right??)

Wife dies and husband who cheated and fathered another child is going to marry woman he cheated on wife with. Forgivable offense? NEVER. Since Elizabeth is gone (may she rest in peace and have flowers delivered to her daily in her afterlife), she cannot be angry, but I can be angry for her. WE can be angry. On behalf of women everywhere, John Edwards, you have insulted the beauty of marriage. You have disgraced your name. And Rielle, well, really there is no sense in addressing you. You are a nightmare. A living nightmare.

What do you think of Rielle?


Image via GQ

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