Why I Want a Four-Way Marriage

Sometimes I get to watching shows about polygamy and find myself imagining for a moment what that would be like. If I don't feel like cooking, no problem! A sister wife could do it. If I'm not up for sex? It's not my turn anyway! I want to see a movie with friends? My sister wife could take my kids! Sounds like a massive win all around, no?

Of course, as we all know, like Communism, it never quite works out as well as it does in practice as it does on paper. Add in real feelings, inadequacy issues, lack of time, sexism, and pedophilia and you have yourself a royal mess. Of course, Bill Paxton and the religious sects in Utah and the Middle East who practice such marriages aren't the first to think of it. In fact, 19th-century philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer had a totally different idea for marriage way back when -- a marriage between four people, called tetragamy.

Could it work?


According to his biographer, it would work something like this:

Two young men should marry a young woman, and when she outgrew her reproductive ability, and thereby lost her attractiveness to her husbands, the two men should marry another young woman who would "last until the two young men were old."

Hmmm ... that isn't how I envisioned it at all. But it sounds interesting. Hear me out:

Economically, it might make sense. The men have one family while they're young and poor and don't support the second until they have more money. Both women get the opportunity to have two men as partners and "providers," which cuts out the whole who is going to take care of the babies while two people work question. Plus, there is extra help at home for taking care of the children, cooking, companionship. I like it.

Of course, my modern interpretation would allow for more variability. Maybe the men stay home and the women work? Or one woman works and one man stays home? Either way, it cuts out that whole "third wheel" aspect of a threesome, allows maximum hands on deck both in the bedroom and in the home, and also provides a sizable income.

Where can I sign up? I am so down with this idea.

What do you think? Would you every marry three people?


Image via Facebook

Read More >