Connie Hamzy is no fan of Peter FramptonConnie Hamzy, arguably the most famous rock 'n' roll groupie, appeared on Howard Stern this morning to relive her sexual exploits yet again. Now 56, "Sweet Connie" was quite busy during rock's golden era, hooking up with countless rockers, including Gene Simmons and Willie Nelson. There was even a scandal back in '91 when she claimed she almost added Bill Clinton to her roster. Of course, he denied it so we'll never really know.
She wrote a book about her encounters, Rock Groupie: The Intimate Adventures of “Sweet Connie” From Little Rock, but it's out of print, so her interview with Howard Stern is particularly entertaining for people like me who hadn't yet gotten the scoop on her conquests. And thank goodness for that, because now I know all I need to know about the penis size and sexual abilities of some of my favorite musical artists.
Oh, and I took notes for the next time one of us encounters these men in real life ...
Peter Frampton: Avoid at all costs. Women everywhere were shaking their heads when Connie compared his penis to her pinky finger. I know it's more about the motion in the ocean than the size of the boat and all that, but Peter's boat is sinking at that size.
Huey Lewis: Proceed with caution. It seems he is rather well endowed, perhaps too much. I mean, if the most famous groupie says he has the biggest penis she's ever encountered, it must be pretty big, right? A night with Huey will require several renditions of "The Power of Love" and lots of foreplay.
Alex Van Halen: Step right up & get in line. That's Alex, not Eddie. Not only did Connie describe Alex as the best lover she's ever had (seriously, ever?! Sign me up!), but she seems to have a bit of a thing for him after all these years. For sex to stand out that much, it must be good. I wonder if he's still got it ...
So, ladies, now you know what to do if you find yourself up close and personal with one of these rocker heartthrobs. Personally, I always thought Eddie was cuter than his brother Alex, but who am I to argue with the #1 groupie? Clearly, she knows what she's talking about.
Are you surprised to see who stands out for Connie Hamzy? Did you read her book when it was published?
Image via Alexandre Cardoso/Flickr