Hey Rachel, your vagina is not a publicity firm! I haven’t been an angel all my life. In fact, I’ve done some downright embarrassing and naughty things in my time, so I try not to judge women who seem to be getting reamed by the media.
But you know, sometimes someone pops up on my radar who’s got too many points of involvement with various scandals and questionable activities, and I just go, “You, madam, are not a friend to women.”
My latest NAFTW? Rachel Uchitel. Here are three reasons I think she should be fitted with a penis and expelled from the sisterhood.
1. What’s she famous for? Being one of the many (reported) mistresses of Tiger Woods. She had hired legal bulldog Gloria Allred and was set to do a press conference when she suddenly relented, some say because of a $10 million payoff from Woods (but you didn’t hear it from me). Gross.
2. Why’d she stay in the limelight? Less than six months later, we heard from her again. This time, a bunch of whiny, demanding text messages to then-married David Boreanaz were made public. “Not fair! These were taken out of context!” she complained. So her affair with that married guy was loving and groovy? Grosser.
3. Is there anything else we need to know? She had a fiancé who died in the Twin Towers on 9/11. Based on this, she got a book deal. I’m not saying that wasn’t a painful experience -- based on pictures of her from the time as compared to now, it threw her into a tailspin of plastic surgery disasters -- but let’s face it, the only thing that sets this apart from other 9/11 tales is the peg to the Tiger Woods scandal. Following up a celeb scandal by using your tragically dead fiancé to broker a book deal? Grossest. (Good thing she lost it by blabbing to a UK paper.)
Is Rachel Uchitel using her relationships to get attention? Do you agree that she’s a bit of an embarrassment to our gender? Tell us in the comments!
Image via VH1