Planning on saying I love you to your boyfriend for the first time this holiday? What's your hurry?
Because once the words are out there, there’s no taking them back. It's not like you can say, "Hey, I meant to say please pass the butter."
The whole situation could turn into a huge big uncomfortable experience if the delivery is not executed properly. Especially if you are the one saying it first.
So here are 4 tips to think about it before you say those 3 fateful words:
1. Timing is everything. This is not the thing to say when you are in an intimate moment. Because if the feelings aren't reciprocal, not only are you nakedly mortified, the moment is most likely ruined.
2. Don’t rush in. I love you isn't the thing to say after a second or even third date unless you are my grandparents. They got lucky because it worked out for them. Definitely the exception, not the rule.
3. Don’t be in a mood-altered state. Drunk, high on life, or just plain giddy because you won the lottery are all not good states to be in when you say it. Because when the mood wears off, you may either not remember what happened or you may feel differently.
4. It's a big risk. Get your game face on. And have the car running. Not really but you should be prepared for getting the reaction you may not want. Hey, it happens.
Because in the end, you can only control what you do and say. You can’t control how the other person reacts or how they feel. Some people are commitment shy and associate the L word with fast forwarding to marriage, the white picket fence, and the 2.5 kids. Some people are just not vocal about their emotions and choose to show their love in other ways. Like oral sex.
So if you don’t get the response you’re looking for? You don’t need to back out of the room with your tail between your legs. Take the optimistic view. At least they didn’t scream and run away like a speeding bullet. Give them some time and some space. If it’s meant to be, the sentiment will be reciprocated.
But if you’re lucky enough to get the response you’re looking for? Whew, there’s nothing like that adrenaline rush, that emotional high.
And those three words never lose their meaning. At least not for me. I mean, I’ll admit that I said it first after a few cocktails and then was beyond embarrassed when it was said. But I was lucky. It was reciprocated. Immediately.
Has a first "I love you" ever gone wrong for you?
Image via Sam Howzit/Flickr