Should You Masturbate on the Family Vacation?

road tripJust in time for the biggest travel day of the year (ahem, going to suffer through with the family this Thanksgiving) comes the best tip on how to actually enjoy the road trip with the kids.

Sex toys can save your sanity! You thought we were going to suggest another license plate game, didn't you?

Seriously, we can't take credit for this genius idea. A mom who left her kids in an Illinois hotel room while she got her rocks off in her van showed us the error of those license plate game ways. The kids were old enough to be alone, but when that van was a-rocking, the police came a-knocking.


Inside, they found Vicki Meyers, who was traveling from Texas with her kids. She admitted to the cops that she'd been jilling off with her plastic friends, but cops didn't do much about that. Instead they charged her with a misdemeanor count of unlawful use of a weapon for having a loaded pistol in the van and let her go.

Is anyone else thinking the cops decided to give her a break when they heard she had driven from Texas to Illinois with her kids? This woman deserved a little recreational time.

I know we drive 50 minutes to the mall in my neck of the woods, and it's about 40 minutes too long to be in a car with my daughter when she's on one of her "why" bents. Now tack on another four hours in the car, having to bunk up in a hotel room with the little brats, and, yup, I could see how someone needs to blow off some steam.

What's a mom to do to take the edge off on road trips? Smoking is out of the question (yes, even stepping outside for a cig is bad -- ever heard of thirdhand smoke?). And single parent + kids + alcohol + strange place = does not end well.

Which leaves us with the ultimate vice: sex. Even with yourself. It can help you sleep (something you'll need in a strange hotel room) and reduce stress (did we mention kids asking "why, why, why?").

So pack yourself something discreet in your suitcase, Mom. It beats the heck out of beating yourself over the head with the travel Scrabble.

Is this mom your new hero?


Image via cupcakes2/Flickr

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