The Clueless Man's Guide to Gifts Women Don't Want

Lawn mowerThe gift giving season is rapidly approaching us. So it's time to help the guys out by letting them know what kinds of things are definitely not good gift items.

And hopefully, that will help out us women who get that weird mix of feeling nauseous and excited when opening up a gift from their boyfriend or husband.

The nausea comes because you're not sure how you're going to fake your reaction when you open your present up and it's a pair of walkie-talkies to use when one of you is in the bathroom.

And the excitement comes from the adrenaline rush that you, ever the optimist, get from anticipating that yes, this is going to be the year that he gets it right.

In the hopes that the men get it right this year, here's a little cheat sheet for them with 10 tips on what gifts NOT to give their girlfriends or wives:


1. Any gift that makes reference to losing weight. Includes a gift membership to Weight Watchers, an annual membership to the local gym and even a new scale for the bathroom.

2. An item, such as a lawnmower, that you say is for her (Babe, it's easy to push) but is really for your benefit. 

3. Something extremely useful and needed, like new tires on her car, do not count as a gift for her.

4. Kitchen appliances, even the small electric ones like a blender or food processor.

5. Anything that you bought by calling a toll-free number on the TV, late at night when most people are sleeping. Nothing good can come of that.

6. Cash. Sure money is nice to have but just handing your sweetie a folded up $20 bill is not thoughtful.

7. Underwear, even if it's fancy, is not a good idea. Lingerie is good if it's classy not trashy.

8. Sex toys made in a foreign country out of some unknown toxic plastic. High end sex toys, you know the ones that are ergonomically correct and non toxic, are a good option.

9. A pre-made gift basket from anywhere including one of those bath stores. She doesn't want liquid soap, lotion, shampoo and conditioner all smelling like some frangipani vanilla hazelnut blend.

10. The same thing you got her last year, even if she loved it. C'mon, think outside of the box and dare to be different.

What's the worst gift you ever got from your partner?


Image via Home Depot

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