Taylor Swift & Jake Gyllenhaal Enjoy a G-Rated Romance (Yawn!)

Taylor SwiftDear Diary,

Jake just dropped me off. We had the most amazing date today! My BFF told me about this orchard in upstate New York, so Jakey-poo and I checked it out. OMG she was so right, it was beautiful! We went apple picking, drank hot cider, and ate hot dogs. But OMG I was like soooo embarrassed because I got ketchup on my cheek, but Jake wiped it off for me, just like they do in the movies! He’s so sweet.

And you’ll never guess what he did in the orchard -- HE HELD MY HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!

I KNOW! So soon, right? But I really like him, and I think he may actually be The One. I know I said that about Taylor and, ugh, John (that butthead!), but I really think it may be real this time. He’s so hot!

Well, I have a press thingy tomorrow and it’s late (10pm!) so have to go to bed. Byeeee!




Expect to hear something along these lines in Taylor Swift’s next album (only rhymed). She and Jake Gyllenhaal have been spotted out on dates together -- dates that seriously consisted of apple picking and going out for ice cream. What is this, third grade? Not to mention, Taylor apparently had yogurt with rainbow sprinkles -- I can’t make this shit up.

You know what I was doing when I was out on dates in my early 20s? Making out in the dark corner of a bar after one too many cocktails. Not skipping down Brooklyn, giggling, while songbirds chirped music for my next album around us.

This sounds like too much of a Disney movie to me -- frankly, it freaks me out. A hot 29-year-old guy is not going to spend an afternoon apple picking unless he’s married and is forced to. Or he’s gay.

Hey, maybe we’ve solved the riddle.

What do you think of Jake and Taylor’s romance? Too cute to be true?


Image via Facebook

Read More >