Relationship Sex: Is Frequency or Quality More Important?

Maintenance signDo you and your husband have maintenance sex? You know, the sex you sometimes have when one of you doesn't really want to have sex but you do it anyway.

And you should.

Maintenance sex is the answer to the age-old question: Is it quantity or quality?

It's the quantity, stupid.

Just kidding about the stupid part.


Think about how often you want to have sex on a monthly basis. (If you're one of the lucky ones, you need to do this on a weekly basis.) Now think about what your husband's number might be.

In the majority of cases, his number is going to be higher than yours. It's true in my house even though I like to think of myself as having a pretty active libido. But men just want it more. It's a more visceral desire. For us women, it's more cerebral. And sometimes it's harder for us to get to that "hot" spot.

This is where maintenance sex, the act of doing it when perhaps you're not chomping at the bit for it, comes in. And this type of sex can help the two of you bring your numbers closer together.

Because even if the sex isn't great every time (and it's unrealistic to expect it to always be drop dead triple-orgasm good), it's one of those things that makes your spousal relationship different from all of your other relationships. It gives you a level of intimacy that can only be attained by being physically close.

And hopefully, the more you do it, the more you'll want to do it.

With all of the benefits that come from having sex, I'll take quantity over quality any day.

Do you believe in practicing maintenance sex?


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