Jasmine Waltz: How to Date a Celebrity

Jasmine WaltzWe learned quickly after finding out Courteney Cox and hubby David Arquette had split, that David had been creeping around with a cocktail waitress named Jasmine Waltz.

She may not be famous, but this girl has a knack for landing celebrity men. She's been linked to Ryan Seacrest, Chris Pine, Jesse McCartney, and Doug Reinhardt (Paris Hilton's ex). That's quite the sexual resume.

Now, I don't know about you, but it's on my sexual bucket list to hook up with a quasi-famous person, so perhaps those of us who want a Hollywood hottie should take tips from the pro.


First and foremost, we need to move out to L.A. It's the mecca for all of those in the acting biz, plus no one has real jobs out there and the weather is perfect year-round, so this doesn't sound too shabby.

Next, we have to get a job as a cocktail waitress or bartender at a popular hot spot, because movie stars like to get crazy. Hello, have you not watched Entourage? Vinny was constantly hooking up with waitresses. So practice your bartending skills. Plus, Jasmine is proof that it works in real-life just as well.

Not only do we have to work in those swanky spots, but also party in them. But since we're nobody, we have to wait in the long lines to get in (lame!). Once inside, scope out a super famous person whom you hate and then punch her in the face. Jasmine's victim was Lindsay Lohan (I give mad props for that one), who she punched on her birthday because she was talking to her ex Doug Reinhardt. All's fair in love and war.

Last but not least, keep your big mouth shut about your sexual escapades or you come off annoying like Brittney Jones. Yeah, she's not going to be landing any other celebs because she blabbed about getting into Ashton Kutcher's pants. Classic rookie mistake. No celeb is going to touch you with a ten-foot pole if they think you're going to run to Star magazine the morning after.

Okay, now that you have the tools, go out and nab you a celebrity!

Which celebrity would you want to go out with (you can still answer even if you're married, we won't tell!)?


Image via Splash News

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