A Foreplay How-To (Because We Know You Forgot)

Sex InnWant to increase the probability that you're going to have at least one, and maybe multiple, orgasms the next time you have sex?

"It's the foreplay, stupid."

Okay, well I know that we women aren't stupid and our partners aren't either, but sometimes the obvious answer is staring us right in the face. So to speak.


For many, this lead-up to intercourse is as pleasurable, if not more so, than the actual act of intercourse.

And for women like me, whose minds never stop, the prolonged stimulation allows you to relax and focus on whom you're with and what you're doing. And forget about the 100 items on your to-do list.


What's even better? That there are many different types of foreplay. You get to experiment and see (and feel) what turns on you and your partner. Because one person's turn-on might be another's turn-off.

And foreplay doesn't just have to take place in the moments before intercourse. Start earlier in the day with a little "guess what I'm going to do to you later" talk or some surreptitious touching while you're out to dinner.

It's all about the build-up, smart people.

Here are some foreplay ideas to try out together:

Biting: Yes, sensual biting can be a turn-on. Not leaving teeth marks in the arm biting, but quick nips in sensitive areas like the neck or the inner thigh.

Eating: The whole 9 1/2 Weeks blindfold thing. Try it. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. The food is actually secondary. The blindfold and lack of control have a lot to do with the intense turn-on factor.

Talking: Talk dirty to me baby.  It doesn't have to be nasty, just sexy. You can do this over the phone, in person, or even with a text.

Kissing: Mouth to mouth contact sometimes gets left out of foreplay. But real kissing, like full on high school make-out kissing, can easily up the heat factor.

Undressing: How often do you get to just look at your partner's naked body? Maybe in the shower, while they're sleeping. But most of the time, we're clothed. So make a deal out of getting undressed. Do it slowly and teasingly.

Massaging: Use some massage oil and take turns massaging each other. Relaxing and sensual, especially if you know there's going to be a happy ending.

Oral sex: Technically, it's a part of foreplay. But it could be the main event. Whenever you decide to add this in to your lovemaking is the right time.

Do you spend time on foreplay?


Image via loop_oh/Flickr

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