The Free Pass Is a Scam

free pass edward jacob
Are one of these hotties your free pass?
In the middle of an otherwise lovely conversation between friends, getting a "free pass" was brought up. As in, "Jennifer Garner is his free pass." As in, if your husband meets Jennifer Garner and she is inexplicably attracted to him and willing to sacrifice her marriage and destroy her family by cheating on Ben with your husband, then you just have to accept this reality. No guilt, no marital problems as a result -- in fact a celebration is probably in order.

Of course, in turn, the other half gets to identify someone as his or her "free pass" and so the pact is made.

I just think this is such bullshit.


I realize some people play this as a parlor game, and that's cool. Personally, I'd rather talk to my girlfriends about Don Draper vs. Roger Sterling than my husband. Does he really need to know who I think is hot enough to end my marriage over? (Which is no one, btw.)

But what adds a different element to the whole game, is that my husband works in television, and I interview celebrities occasionally. There's a good chance we'll run into a "free pass" and what then? If either of us manages to convince Johnny Depp or Uma Thurman to take a quick roll in the hay, we get to go home and tell the other one, "Hey! Guess what? I took my free pass today!" The other person is expected to be unaffected and the marriage goes on as if nothing happened because, hey, it was a FREE PASS.

Of course this scenario isn't likely, as neither of us are Megan Fox or Zac Efron or whoever the kids are getting hot and bothered over these days. (Although a famous young thing did hit on my husband once when he worked at MTV.) But it's the idea that since it's a celebrity, it's okay to break those wedding vows that I find annoying.

Maybe it's because we both have had contact with celebrities that I'm 100% unclear on why some couples think this is acceptable as opposed to say, getting a "free pass" with an exceptionally attractive friend or co-worker.

If you make a commitment to fidelity (and not everyone does, and that's totally okay) that's the deal. If you want to have a clause that says it's okay to have sex with someone else, that's your prerogative. But the celebrity free pass thing lies in some weird in betweener where it's somehow okay to break your commitment if the person you're boning has appeared on television. Huh?

Call me a killjoy, but having sex outside your marriage is sex outside your marriage. Dressing it up and putting it on the red carpet doesn't make it any less painful for the one who isn't getting any.

Do you have a free pass?

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