Ask Dad: My Husband Bought Me a Vibrator!

No case of the Mondays can't be fixed with a little bit of lovin'. So how about some soothing words from Ask Dad?

My hubs bought me a vibrator ... what's he trying to say?!

Why look a gift c**k in the mouth? It's really incredibly sweet when you consider it. Think about what he had to go through just to buy the thing: Choosing it, maybe asking for help first, having to wait in line with other buyers of toys and porn, averting the gazes of other shoppers, having to wait while the cashier tested it, as they often do since it's nonreturnable.


Hard to think of a gift that's more of a chore for a man. Way more impressive than lingerie.

And yes, it is nonreturnable (trust me), so you're going to have to live with it. Plus, like that gaudy jewelry he probably gave you once, he's going to expect to see it on, er, in you.

So maybe we should take a look at his reasoning. Some possibilities:

  • The thought of you using it turns him on: This is the most likely and the most innocent reason. The image of a woman pleasuring herself is just plain smokin' hot for a man comfortable in his own skin. Of course maybe ...
  • He's feeling inadequate: The flip-side is also possible. He could feel like he's not quite doing it for you anymore, and he's calling in some backup. I'd indulge him, but with the reassurance you'd prefer the real thing. Or tell him it reminds you of him.
  • He's just lazy: In which case knock yourself out. Sometimes veggie burgers can be as tasty as the real thing.
  • He was badly confused: Had you been asking for a neck massager? Maybe he told a clerk who misunderstood him.
  • He wants to have it in the house for himself: Maybe it's the equivalent of Homer Simpson getting Marge a bowling ball. If you suspect this might be true, make sure you clean it THOROUGHLY before every use. In fact, just do this anyway. 

Regardless of the reason, be happy you have a man that puts your pleasure at a premium. And let us know how everything shakes out.


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