Woman Dies in Chimney and Other Dumb Love Stories

Between Dr. Jacqueline Kotarac, who died in her boyfriend's chimney this week after attempting to break in, and Lisa Marie Nowak, the astronaut who wore a diaper so that she wouldn't have to stop on the way to kidnap her lover's other lover last year, it's safe to say that love -- or some version of it -- makes otherwise intelligent women do some pretty dumb things.

I can remember the many cringe-worthy things I did back when I was single and in pursuit of men who liked me less than I liked them.

Someone (not me, natch) may have sent herself flowers at work from a "secret admirer" in order to get the older man she was dating to see her as more than a fling. It kind of worked. Until it didn't in a major way.

Obviously none of these had as devastating results as Dr. Kotarac's or Nowak's, but when I think of the ways I humiliated myself ... I kind of want to crawl under the table.

Here are more compiled from anonymous women:

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  • E-mail horror: I was working at a very stuffy publication in New York City for the summer. I had a wild and crazy date that involved much bizarre sex. When I sent the e-mail describing the date in graphic detail (it included the words "no one has ever made me orgasm like that") to my friend, I also sent it to the entire editorial team. I nearly quit on the spot and received several lectures on appropriate work conduct from editors who normally reviewed John Updike books.
  • Drunken confessions: I got wasted and told a boy I loved him -- in front of his girlfriend!
  • More drunken confessions: I was always the third wheel in my couple friends' party of two and got very drunk one night and made a pass at the boyfriend who turned me down flat and told the girlfriend. That was the end of that.
  • Damn caller ID: Just before the advent of caller ID, I called a boy over and over one day while he was out with his parents. When he got home, the box said "210 missed calls."
  • I drove all night: I once drove 10 hours in the middle of the night to surprise the guy I was dating for his birthday, only to find out we weren't exactly on the same page.
  • Remember to hang up the phone: I called a guy I was seeing but not that into and forgot to fully click the cell off when I was at dinner with some girlfriends. I went on and on about how he was fine for now but wasn't "the one," and how he was short and not that bright -- all of which I recorded on his voicemail. When I went over to his house later, all of my stuff was in a box.
  • Eight wasted years: I stayed with a man for eight years who kept promising me he would propose. He never did, but I kept believing him and waiting and waiting. He dumped me and three weeks later married the girl he had been cheating on me with for the past two years.
  • Blinded by bling: I was with a guy who was super-sweet and attractive, but wasn't the guy for me. One day he proposed out of the blue with an amazing ring. I said yes because I wanted to wear the ring and then spent the next two weeks hyperventilating every night before I finally gave him back the ring. Why did it take so long? The sparkle man, the sparkle.
  • My boyfriend's back (but doesn't exist): I hooked up with a guy I was really into but he wasn't that into me. The next night, I glommed onto his plans and kept doing that every night until he told me (nicely) while I was drunk one night that he just didn't "feel it" for me. So, I did what any self respecting sloppy drunk college girl does: wept, fell on the floor, and told him my "big football playing boyfriend" would beat him up for messing with me. Yeah. I was totally single and had quite the humiliation hangover the next day.

Did you ever do dumb things for love?

 

Image via sflovestory/Flickr

 

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