Don't Ignore Instinct: 25 Dating Red Flags

Mandy Stadtmiller was writing a dating column at the New York Post when she went on a date with a man who made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

She ignored her instinct and ended up on a date that went from bad to worse, a date she later referred to as "Mr. Whip It Out" and whose forward aggression (and later mean text messages) left her feeling cold and frightened for months after.

Now, that same man is accused of being the Riverside Rapist, charged with raping a tourist and facing lesser raps in an alleged two-year sexual violence spree.


In her story last week for the Post, Stadtmiller details the red flags she ignored, the instinct she didn't follow.

Although there's nothing funny about her story, hers did have a happier ending than the others and some dating "red flags" are, indeed, funny.

So, here are 25 dating "red flags" as compiled by various friends of mine, both single and married, female and male. Some are silly, some are serious. Feel free to add your own!

1.) Socks with sandals

2.) Favors Leno over Letterman

3.) Lives at home with parents

4.) Mentions the guy she is dating (oops!)

5.) Thumb rings

6.) Ed Hardy t-shirts

7.) Asks no questions about you or your interests

8.) Still calls his parents "mommy" and "daddy"

9.) His apartment is comprised of milk crates and a futon

10.) Only talks about "his music"

11.) Tells you he was fired from his last job for sexual harrassment (this happened to me!)

12.) Tells you that you owe him a kiss for paying for dinner (this did, too!)

13.) Tells you about his predilection for some obscure, disturbing sex practice

14.) Stiffs the waiter his tip for no reason

15.) Treats the waiter/busboy/ticket collector poorly

16.) Tells you about his penis size

17.) Even mentions his penis at dinner on a first date

18.) Tells you he cannot listen to what you're saying because "you are so pretty"

19.) Pushes you hard after you say "no" to something

20.) Kisses you when you don't want it

21.) Has 1,000 stuffed animals on her bed

22.) Talks smack about an ex

23.) Talks lovingly about an ex

24.) Complains about child support/alimony payments

25.) Too much perfume/cologne

What are some of your red flags?


Image via Victoria Reay/Flickr

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