This is Why You Will Cheat

you're going to cheatAnneli Rufus really loves to tell us how we're going to ruin our love lives. First, she gives us scientific evidence that we will get a divorce, now she's telling us why we will cheat. I wonder if she's single?

What is interesting about the science, are the wacky things that get studied. Who knew having a cheating twin gives you a better chance at stepping out. Or a bad relationship with your in-laws? Or looking at online porn? Actually, the online porn one is pretty obvious.

Here are a few from her list that have me scratching my head:


If you think about sex every day, you're 22 percent more likely to have an affair than those who think about sex just a few times a week.

Who thinks about sex just a few times a week? People who are pretty faithful to their partners, apparently. "Thinking about sex" usually translates into fantasies, says Mira Kirshenbaum, author of When Good People Have Affairs: Inside the Hearts and Minds of People in Two Relationships. "It's a sign either that someone has time on his hands and/or that he feels there's something missing in sex with his partner."

Judith Treas and Giesen, Dierdre (2000): Sexual infidelity among married and cohabiting Americans. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 62 (1), 48-60.

If you and your spouse lived together before getting married, there's a 39 percent chance that at least one of you will cheat on the other.

"A lot of blue-state progressives think living together before marriage is so natural that they can't understand how it could make a difference," Kirshenbaum says. "But for some people, living together rather than marrying is a sign of dissonance, lack of commitment.... Some people go on to get married as a way to solve those problems, just the way some people sometimes have children in the hope of cementing a shaky relationship." Which also doesn't work.

Dollahite, D. C., & Lambert, N. M. (2006). Forsaking all others: Marital fidelity in religious couples. Paper presented at the National Council on Family Relations annual conference.

If you're a woman whose husband has a college degree, you're 3 percent less likely to have an affair than women whose husbands do not have college degrees.

Because college-educated husbands tend to be higher earners than other husbands, their wives are less likely to risk losing that income by wandering, Elmslie says. His study revealed that, in sharp contrast to males, "women tend to look at the full costs and benefits" of extramarital relationships — that is, women look before they leap, while men just leap.

Bruce Elmslie and Edinaldo, Tebaldi (2008). So, what did you do last night? The economics of infidelity. Kyklos, 61 (3), 391-410.

I always thought developing a tolerance for the other person's dirty socks pre-marriage was a good idea. And how in the world do they come up with the 3 percent less likely to cheat if your husband has a college degree? Is 3 percent really significant?

So after you've reviewed the entire list, are you in danger of cheating on your mate?


Image via denharsh/Flickr


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