Block Your Ex Online: Stop That Google-Stalking with The Ex Blocker!

I’m not saying I have a problem with looking up my exes on the internets. I’m just saying that one ex is a real-estate agent in DC (which means his dreams of being a rockabilly guitarist in Austin fell through, paging Dr. Schadenfreude!), one had his apartment foreclosed on, and one weighs like 300 pounds. Most of the rest are Facebook friends, because I’m pushy like that. No news on poor high school Phill, though.

So maybe it's a tiny problem. Fortunately, The Ex-Blocker has the solution.


Actually, in my current near-constant state of gestating/birthing/diapering, not to mention yesterday’s two-year anniversary of my getting hitched to Mr. Who Needs Those Bastards?, I’ve really calmed down on the web-trawling. But I remember those days of Chardonnay and a search window. Many was the time I wished I could call up Mr. Spock to mind-meld me with that command to “forget.”

Now, a creative agency called Jess3 – they specialize in “data visualization,” whatever that is – has created The Ex Blocker. It’s so simple: Enter everything you’d enter to find your ex, and it downloads a plug-in for your browser that scrubs that creepy little shit from every corner of your available web.

Downside: you can only block 5 exes. Workaround: you can just download a new browser if you find you miss the drama too much. But let’s face it: by making it that much harder to idly eyeball your possible “what might have been” fantasies, The Ex Blocker is going to free up a lot of time otherwise spent making yourself miserable.

Now I want to know: Am I alone in the feeling this would have really, really helped me during past breakups? Would you block your ex? Tell me in the comments, I want to know!

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