Ask Dad: Why Does He Have Oral Sex Rules?

no way signAnother day, another "Ask Dad," and this one's a doozy, ladies. I'll try to keep it polite, but if frank sexual dialogue isn't your thing, you might want to skip this one.

I want to please my husband and have tried. He wants me to let him orgasm in my mouth during oral sex and wants me to swallow it. How can I bring myself to do this for him without gagging?

Well alrighty then. I respect a woman who can get right to the point. So allow me to reciprocate by getting right to the point.


Is this your first time with oral? Or have you just never allowed him to orgasm in your mouth? I get the impression that you aren't sure what's going to happen if and when you attempt to do these things. If that's the case, I defer to the old saying: You won't know until you try.

Having an orgasm in a woman's mouth is the whole point of oral sex for many (most?) men. Wait, let me rephrase. Having an orgasm is the point, and doing so in your mouth is what we prefer because that's the way that feels best.

As for swallowing, I can't say I fully understand why some men prefer that. I get that it's a turn-on, just as much as watching you spit us out is a turn-off, but I know just as many men who don't care what you do with the result of an orgasm as long as they get to have one. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. (No pun intended.)

I know your husband wants you do to it. It's good to want things. Doesn't mean you have to do them. Everyone has limits when it comes to sex, and you have to negotiate these things with your partner. I'm sure there are activities that he won't do in bed. Each of you must decide what you're willing to try and what's absolutely off the table. Like all aspects of marriage, sex requires compromise and respecting boundaries. You have a right to say no to any activity with which you're not comfortable.

It never hurts to try something new, though. Again, though, only do what makes you comfortable. You have a right to say no, and your husband should respect that.


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Photo via  joshuadf/Flickr

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