Should You Date Your Friend's Ex?

Photo from The Beacon Big House
This week in He Said/She Said, a design-savvy couple heads upstate from the big city to become home owners and commuters. Kara and Dylan chronicle the transition with their two adorable boys at The Beacon Big House.

Kara, a social worker and artsy lady, gives us much to think about in our weekly love and sex question, as well as a dose of "how it happens in the real world." You can see how these two complement each other, as Dylan, a graphic designer and artist (as is quite evident by the mood-evoking snapshots of life upstate), keeps it short, sweet, and well, very manly.

Both get right to the heart of the matter of this week's topic:

Is it ever okay to date your friend's ex?


He Said:

Yes. But it depends on how long they dated, what their relationship was like, and how close I am with the friend. It's not a black and white answer for me. There are a lot of gray areas.

Oh, and it also depends on how hot the girl is.

She Said:

If you have a good friend and want to date their ex, the answer relies heavily on a few questions/answers:

How serious was their relationship and how did their relationship end? If this is someone your friend dated for a few months and if it ended because your friend dumped his/her ex and wants nothing to do with him/her, then I say yes! If your friend dated this person and was head over heels in love, then I say no. If your friend was married to the ex, then I say no as well.

But, overall, it's just important to talk with your friend about it. Especially if this is a friendship that you want to last. And it's important to think about the consequences from socializing as couples, as it could all feel complicated at some point.

My mom has been remarried for 13 years after being divorced for about 20 years from my father. The only other man outside my father or stepfather that I knew my mom to be with was her boyfriend of about 15 years, Danny. Yes, my mom is good at long-term relationships

Danny had the reputation as the "Italian Stallion," but I always knew him to be a nice guy. I recently found out that my mom's oldest sister (who's in her late 60s and divorced her husband a few years ago) is going on a date with Danny next week! Not only is that a no, it's also gross. But then I wonder if the rules change once you're a senior citizen.

Check out how Kara and Dylan live at The Beacon Big House.

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