Ask Dad: Why Doesn't He Want Sex Anymore?

Flickr photo by Avenue G
Welcome back to Ask Dad, for those times when you really need a dude's opinion. Or not. Whichever, you're getting it anyway, sorry.

After two years of marriage, my husband seems to have lost all interest in sex. Is he having an affair?


Maybe. Maybe not.

I'll agree that two years is a bit soon for things to die down in the bedroom. It usually takes longer for the honeymoon phase to wear off, if it's going to wear off at all. For some couples, it never does. Those are the people you want to slap, the ones who've been married for 15 years but still act like newlyweds, nuzzling in the corner of your party like horny teens, and you know they're totally gonna do the deed when they get home, if not before. Bastards.

Sorry, where was I? Oh, right, no interest in sex.

You can't assume your husband is having an affair when there are so many other causes of decreased libido. For starters, sexual desire fluctuates in intensity for everyone; it's called being in the mood or not being in the mood. Stress can also cause loss of desire. Depression, side effects of medication, other physical or emotional problems -- all can have an effect on sex drive.

You just need to talk to your husband about it rather than assume the worst. Ask him what's up (or not up, as the case may be. Zing!). He may not even know why his sexual appetite has gone out the window. If there's no apparent cause, he should see a doctor and discuss it, especially if the change was sudden and drastic. If he's never been what scientists call a huge horn dog, then this might just be a natural progression. Or regression.

Either way, it's a problem; a girl's gotta get laid. So does a guy. Not to be crass, but it's the truth. People need sex. It's important. But something tells me you knew that already.

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