Caught Having Sex: Happens To the Best of Us

Flickr photo by RamonMartinezGlon
I wrote recently about my child catching her mother and me in a compromising position, but my BWB (Busted While Boinking) adventures started long before that.

When I was a senior in high school, my girlfriend Karen* was a latchkey kid, so every day after school we'd go to her house and, uh, entertain ourselves before her parents got home. Her folks knew we were there, but they were older and mellow and didn't seem to care.

She and I were also honor students, so maybe they assumed we wouldn't get into too much trouble alone.

Heh heh.


You can guess what happened next. Her dad came home early from work one day and busted us. We'd heard him unlocking the door, so I had time to get myself completely dressed -- what can I say, I'm a pro -- but poor Karen, who was much nekkider, got everything on but her pants.

As her dad walked in, she buried her face in her hands. I think I grinned and said "hey" to him like some kind of moron. He stopped, looked at us, then walked away without a word. Oh, the shame.

I can laugh about it now, of course, and I love hearing similar stories of people getting caught with their pants down, so I posed the question on my blog a few months back:

Ever been caught in flagrante delicto?

Turns out lots of my blog readers had -- by kids, parents, roommates, co-workers, even strangers. Here, for your enjoyment, a few of the more amusing replies I got:

"My 10 year old walked in on us about a month ago, and I pulled the covers over my head, and he said 'busted'."

"It's the first time I'm 'with' a new girlfriend. Middle of the day, a weekday. We had just finished business when my roommate, who should be at work, walks past my open bedroom door and leans in to say hi. He looks at me. He looks at her. His eyes go blank as he turns and leaves. I look at her. She tells me that my roommate is her ex-boyfriend."

"A friend told me that his little daughter caught him and his wife doing the wild thing. They didn't notice her until the little girl screamed, "Daddy! Why are you killing Mommy?!"

"An ex and I got caught going at it in his car. In a church parking lot. The ex told the cop we were 'talking.' The cop asked, 'With your pants off'?"

"My best friend and his wife were going at it with a vengeance one night, him on top, when their Great Dane wandered in and planted a cold wet nose the size of a teacup right behind his baby basket. She was showing off the bruise on her forehead the next day from when he plowed her under the pillow and into the headboard."

"When my daughter was about 4, she walked in during what had been up to that a point a pretty good romp in the sheets and told us that we were being 'too inappropriate'."

"Once in college, my now-husband and I got busy in his car. He was in the driver's seat, me on top. Next thing I know, there is a blinding light shining straight at me. The cop said he wouldn't have noticed us, except our headlights were blinking on and off. One of us was hitting the switch with some body part"

I saved the best for last:

"When I was growing up, I used to like to jump on my parents' bed because it was squeakier and it bounced better than my own. I always got in trouble, though, if I got caught. My room shared a wall with my parents room. I remember on more than one occasion hearing their bed squeaking after I'd gone to bed, but one night I got sick of it. It wasn't fair! So I yelled as loud as I could: STOP JUMPING ON THE BED!!!! Silence. Followed by uncontrollable laughter. I thought they were laughing because I'd busted them jumping on the same bed they yelled at me for jumping on! I know better now :)"

How about you? Ever been caught in the act? Tell us how it happened.

(* Not her real name. Her real name was Kim.)

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